I feel the need to blog right now because I feel fantastic, besides my left middle finger, and things are going just great!!! Monday started off crappy for the week, Tuesday was so-so, Wednesday was the madness dealing with docs and such with my abnormal finger situation, Thursday was good getting the car door handle replaced and today, well I feel good and we are exactly 2 weeks from the MJL Foundation for Suicide and Depression "walk for hope" walk!!! It almost doesn't get any better.
For those wondering about the whole finger thing. It is kind of weird situation. Back in March when I was competing for World's Glamorous Miss and America's U.S. Beauties... I was one of those people that didn't want to make more than one trip to the car. So I thought I had it all under control. I had my pink rolling luggage case, the pink travel case, my dress, and my portable dress steamer, plus my purse!!! well I think I may have pinched a nerve in the process because my whole middle finger was numb for a while like a week or 2. I got the feeling back in it and there has not been any pain up until about a month ago. My finger started to swell really bad on and off with quite a bit of pain and it was really bulged at the knuckle. I kept telling myself, oh it will go away and I can manage this pain with some alleve. Well, much to my dismay, I wake up this past wednesday, my finger looked like a frickin sausage and it hurt too bad to even move it. Imagine me getting ready for work with one hand... yea... and I bumped it on the way into work trying to open the door. O UH MMM GEEEE!!!!!!!!!! LOL! So after consulting with co-workers on this they suggest I go to Trinity walk in which I did right away. The doc sends me over to the hospital for x-rays. Nothing shows up as far as a fracture or a break. Now I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. I hope they can tell me something!!! But I got some good pain meds that are helping. Still sore, but now I am walking around with this splint that looks like I am giving everyone the finger. SWEEEEEEETTT!!! lol (not)
So let's back track to Friday. I go to Vera French to see a new doctor about my anxiety and depression meds. From consulting with her, I realize that it is not the Cymbalta I am unhappy with but the trazodone. So she upps my cymbalta to 90 mg and replaces the trazodone with Ambien. Now call me crazy, but I was kind of thinking, do you treat anxiety with sleep meds? I am no doc so I didn't question too much on it. I was focused on getting more energy in my life so I could get some things done and not sleeping all the time. I feel like I have slept my life away!!! Not to mention the 20 lb weight gain AND not being able to get up in the morning, thus making me late for work EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!! Only by about 5-10 minutes, but late is late. She tells me to take half a pill. Friday night I do. I wake up at 3am like HELLO WORLD!! The dog was not thrilled. He looked at me like "if you don't quit moving around and talking so I can sleep over here!" Sorry Snoopy... Ok, fine, we will go up to a full tab, which she said I could do. The same deal. And I had appearances all weekend. ARE U FRICKIN KIDDING ME!!!!!! So I take a full pill again Sunday night. Same thing. Monday I am on edge, my anxiety is through the roof and the doc is out until Wednesday. So in order for me to get any rest I had to take the trazodone. Wednesday I am draggin. But I do get a call from my doc and she calls in a different anti-anxiety. SUPER! Why do I go to wal-mart to pick up that and the pain meds I was prescribed and the doc forgot to leave her ID number to fill the prescription. They call the doc on call and she would not give an ID number to verify because she was not "familiar with the patient or the chart" FOR CRYIIN OUT LOUD! YOUR COLLEAGUE WROTE THE PRESCRIPTION!!! So wal-mart wouldn't fill it according to some federal law even though the same doc wrote the ambien and they wouldn't use it from that. And Wal-Mart does not even call and tell me when they know this information. I am picking up meds 30 minutes before the pharmacy closes. The meds were called in around 5:30. Seriously, where is the customer service!!! "Ms. Lacovitch I am terribly sorry, we have a note to call first thing in the morning." I told the girl I thought it was dumb the on call doc (which by the way I had to suggest they call) was not acting very well as an on call and it kind of defeated the purpose in my situation. I also told her I thought it was crap I was just now being notified of the situation when you have my contact number and this is for an anti-anxiety medication which most people who take them need very much. So I left and I got my meds the next day. I take my half pill of the new meds and I FEEEL SUPER!!!!
I woke up today at 6:45 feeling like a new me! I had energy, I felt well rested, and I just felt motivated! I didn't even use the snooze! I even went to bed at like 10:30/10:45ish. I hope this is a new start. Maybe I can get up and walk the dog before work! Then snoopy can shed off some of those poochy pounds too and he will enjoy it. I just feel like this is the beginning to a new more motivated energetic me. I know I do a lot in the community, but I know I could be doing more appearances if I had just felt better and wasn't in the bed sleep all the time. This week I had actually started watching strictly what I eat and as of wednesday I had lost 6lbs! I have not weighed myself since then when I was at the doc, but I hope to have gone down a couple more pounds by the weekend. I mean, I don't think I am fat by any means, but I know I have a more healthier weight that I am used to that is normal. Afterall, I do want to look and feel my best for nationals which is 3 months away!!!
Another thing to be excited about is the MJL Foundation walk which is now only 2 weeks away today!! Maybe I will be down a total of 10-15 lbs by then! I am looking forward to meeting the community and doing what I do best, share my story and touch the lives of the people that are there. You never know who you will inspire... There is still time to register!! If you don't want to walk you can still come out and show your support www.mjlfoundation.org I will be there, my pooch will be there. Fun times with MJL and Ms. Iowa American Coed!! And I will be speaking before the walk. Stay tuned for my appearance with MJL Foundation next week regarding the walk!!! You won't want to miss it!!!
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