NAMI Candlelight Dinner 10/5/2011

I assume that if you are from the Quad Cities that you know what "The Lodge" in Bettendorf is or you it least know where it is.  I drive past that exit daily and I guess I just assumed it was a bank or hotel from the interstate.  My aunt even asked me once what it was when I was driving her and my cousin around town.  I never knew.  Now I know and I must say that it is really beautiful on the inside!!!

The tables were set up so nice and I noticed a lot of people at these tables that were at the walk, including a couple of the guys I had taken photos with.  They all came up to me and gave me hugs and were glad that I had came.  Others hadn't seen me before even if they were at the walk, but now we were in a much more smaller setting.  My seat was at the front table which was labeled "head table".  I guess this was important.  I immediately began conversing with a lady that held a position with NAMI at another location and I started to share some of my story.  Later I heard hers when she stood up and I must say, you never know how bad it can really be until you hear someone else that has been through some things with mental health that don't even touch where you have been.  She has done a lot of great work and she was even given an award.  I was moved by everything she had to say.  One of the things she had said to me was that you see other people when you speak and you can tell who can relate by the look in their eyes.  I don't remember too much these days as my memory has deteriorated since dad's death, but I do remember that.

There were about 8 seats at this head table and one of those seats had my name on it and next to me was Jay Kidwell.  In front of each place was a different flavor of slice of cake.  It all looked so good.  What looked really good was the big slice of strawberry that was in front of Jay's chair.  It's funny how things work out...  At the end of dinner we ended up playing musical cake.  I had lemon, which was fine, but he offered to trade.  It was like we were in school again.  It's the lil things you know? lol I ended up with the strawberry piece he had before me and it was SOOOOOOO good.  I don't know if it was the cake or the fact that I hadn't had strawberry cake or anything of that nature since I started to watch what I eat in preparation for my pageant.

Dinner was done and then the master of ceremonies stood up to begin, that being Jay Kidwell, the person who was the whole reason I found NAMI to begin with.  He really is a great person.  I can't help but think to myself, what is his connection with NAMI?  Apparently, he has been master of ceremonies for the past few years.  I am kind of curious if he has a personal story or if it is just a cause that chose him or he chose.  Time will only tell and I am pretty sure we will cross paths again.  After all, he did give me his business card. 

I was the first person introduced after he talked for a lil bit.  I talked briefly about who I was, where I came from, and how I got involved with NAMI.  Not too long, not too short and I made it through without crying.  I think it was the fact that I knew that alot of people in that room understood me.  They were at this dinner because they either had experienced mental illness personally or they have friends or family that do.  I got to light the main candle in memory of those whose lives had been lost due to suicide and those that still struggle with depression daily.  I could feel goosebumps as I lit the candle and felt really honored to be asked to light THE candle.

They showed a few short segments of a video following about 5 people who live with mental illness.  They talked about who they are and what they like to do, what type of illness they have, how/if they have accepted their illness, the darkest moments they have had, how they cope, and how far they have come.  After each segment people at the dinner were asked to share their thoughts or personal experiences on these subjects.  I stood up a few times.  I mentioned that I don't think I had accepted it until I felt better than I did before I started the treatment.  I also shared that when I am down or need something to occupy my mind I like to color in coloring books or play with my dog.  Animals have a way of relieving a lot of stress and need a lot of love.  Going back to my Miss KY International platform, I mentioned that if they did not have pets or couldn't afford them, there are a lot of animals at the local shelter that need love and attention and that many shelters accept volunteers to do just that.  My Snoopy has been great through all of my highs and lows.  I got him a lil over a year after my dad passed.  They have lots of love to give back and they love you no matter what your mental flaws are. 

One lady said that she loves to bake when she is down.  Someone else said they do big puzzles.  It all makes sense, doing something that makes you happy that you like to do that will distract those dark thoughts.  The lady that loves to bake said you have to be distracted for the period of time you follow the recipe.  You can't walk away or you will forget what ingredients you have added or what step you are on.  It really does as I love to bake too.  I made some awesome pumpkin bread last weekend with some time I had off from making appearances.  I've been too busy to do anything, which has been a good thing.  When I have too much time on my hands my mind wanders...not always good.  I guess you can say that when I made my bread I was coping in a way.  It turned out great and the coworkers loved it.

In the backgroud of the dinner there was artwork displayed from a local artist.  He was also videotaping at the dinner.  His name was Carlos Duran.  Really nice paintings.  He stated that whatever was sold that night that the proceeds would go to NAMI.  After the dinner he approached me and well, after a very long conversation I was more educated on the history of Cinco de Mayo and booked another appearance at a Latino conference in Muscatine on the morning of October 29th.  A lot of youth are supposed to be there and not sure how I will fit in but it is for a good cause and a learning experience for myself.  Afterall, my best friend is hispanic and my middle sister is half hispanic and... Mexican food is my favorite.  I love the culture and honestly I would love to learn the language and the background of it all.  Half of the people I meet think I am one of them anyway, lol and having the name Monica does not help!! LOL!!!!  Nothing like some homemade chips and salsa with jalapenos. :)