2011 has just about come to a close. I look back at the year and think about everything. All in all, 2011 was a good year. I could not have asked for anything more. Accepting the title as Ms. Iowa 2011 brought so much opportunity. I reached out to a lot of people who were in need and it felt good to be a lending ear for their stories. Getting out in the community helped me realize that no matter where I am people are drawn to my positivity and I appreciate that. I came to Iowa, country and all, and the community has accepted me with open arms, lol! I have been here two years now so I guess I am considered a keeper and an official quad citian even though I don't talk like one.
I have had so many experiences this year from speaking at small class room settings, walking with the mayor of Davenport at the mental health NAMI walk, being the first to walk out in the Live Out Loud Charity Fashion Show before many people in the pageant and modeling industry in Chicago, to sharing my story before hundreds of people in Des Moines about losing my dad to Leukemia. I did a lot of traveling and a lot of learning and slept when I could on top of working a full time job. I have to give myself credit and a pat on the back. I think one of my most favorite things was riding in the Festival of Trees parade with the MJL Foundation for Depression and Suicide Awareness. The whole community was there and there were people I knew and didn't know who waved back. I remember the first time I heard someone yell Ms. Iowa at my first pitch for the River Bandits. A child, a lil girl who said she wanted to be just like me. It's those moments that warm your heart.
Although my health isn't at its best I am still here. I survived American Coed Pageant nationals and I had fun! It's been a wild ride! Now on to bigger and even better things. My life is only going to get better and I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store!!! If it is anything like 2011 I can only be even more excited. MJL Foundation, NAMI, Live Out Loud Charity, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Iowa, I WILL be seeing you next year!!!!!! Ms. Iowa 2011, I will always be me with or without a title. My platforms and my passions make me who I am and that will NEVER change. :)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Where has the time gone???
Nationals came and went. No I didn't win, but there is a reason for everything. I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish, and that was to retire from competing. When I say retire, I mean retire from major state titles that have major duties and nationals to prepare for. I think my body has had enough and I been in the pageant game for like 15 years. Once I give up my crown in March I will be "hanging up" the crown. Remember "I will retire with the crown, yes. No, I am not lucky I am blessed. Yes."-Nicki Minaj And that I did.
I come to realize that since going through all of this stuff with my health, it probably would not have been a good idea to travel the country with a national title. I get so tired easily now. Heck, it took me all day Sunday to put up my tree and I had to keep laying down and taking naps here and there. The good news, no colon cancer. So with respect to that, my prayers have been answered on that. They are still unsure of what is causing all of these digestive problems, but hopefully the medicine works and they won't have to do anything else. I go back for a follow-up mid next month. Thank God for my best friend Noemi. "Miss Nurse to be" She made sure I was cool, got me to my colonoscopy and back, and we ate good on Sunday. I couldn't eat as much as I used to, but it was good to have some home-cooked food and not some hospital crap or liquid diet.
So what's next? Little by little I will get these pictures up from nationals. The Christmas Festival of Trees Parade. I am taking a lil time out I guess you could say. But my haters out there, don't think that I have not been having things in the works. I may have had to sit down due to health issues but I always have something in the making and I never needed anyone to get anything done or be friends/suck up to people to get what I wanted. Everything I have worked hard for and people actually do like me for me and not because I am doing them any favors. I have built a lot of connections through the industry and my causes. My causes are going to continue beyond Ms. Iowa. I am my platforms. This coming year I will strive to raise a lot of money for Leukemia and Mental Health. I will be starting my own national campaign for mental health awareness. That's only a tease of what I have up my sleeve.
I can't wait for 2012!!! Where did the rest of 2011 go by the way? Oh, I guess I was just so busy and sick that it just slid right past me. Being busy made me sick and being sick made me busy, LOL. But I will not let any of this hold me down. It's almost time to start planning for the BIG 3-0!!! I can't believe I am going to be 30 in May. I am going all out and going to enjoy it. For once I am going to do what I want to do. Not what someone else had planned or how they think it should go. I think I worked hard enough this year that I deserve it least that.
I am thankful to make it as far as I have. 2011 has blessed me in more ways than I can count. A lot of good things happened this year. Besides my health, I can't really complain. Lost a couple of family members but they did live good long lives and nobody lives forever. For those of you that struggle this time of year, my heart goes out to you. It will get better. Every move I make from now on is a step closer and closer to my dreams. I don't plan on looking back and nothing will keep me from moving forward. 2012 is definitely going to be a good year too! I can't wait!
I come to realize that since going through all of this stuff with my health, it probably would not have been a good idea to travel the country with a national title. I get so tired easily now. Heck, it took me all day Sunday to put up my tree and I had to keep laying down and taking naps here and there. The good news, no colon cancer. So with respect to that, my prayers have been answered on that. They are still unsure of what is causing all of these digestive problems, but hopefully the medicine works and they won't have to do anything else. I go back for a follow-up mid next month. Thank God for my best friend Noemi. "Miss Nurse to be" She made sure I was cool, got me to my colonoscopy and back, and we ate good on Sunday. I couldn't eat as much as I used to, but it was good to have some home-cooked food and not some hospital crap or liquid diet.
So what's next? Little by little I will get these pictures up from nationals. The Christmas Festival of Trees Parade. I am taking a lil time out I guess you could say. But my haters out there, don't think that I have not been having things in the works. I may have had to sit down due to health issues but I always have something in the making and I never needed anyone to get anything done or be friends/suck up to people to get what I wanted. Everything I have worked hard for and people actually do like me for me and not because I am doing them any favors. I have built a lot of connections through the industry and my causes. My causes are going to continue beyond Ms. Iowa. I am my platforms. This coming year I will strive to raise a lot of money for Leukemia and Mental Health. I will be starting my own national campaign for mental health awareness. That's only a tease of what I have up my sleeve.
I can't wait for 2012!!! Where did the rest of 2011 go by the way? Oh, I guess I was just so busy and sick that it just slid right past me. Being busy made me sick and being sick made me busy, LOL. But I will not let any of this hold me down. It's almost time to start planning for the BIG 3-0!!! I can't believe I am going to be 30 in May. I am going all out and going to enjoy it. For once I am going to do what I want to do. Not what someone else had planned or how they think it should go. I think I worked hard enough this year that I deserve it least that.
I am thankful to make it as far as I have. 2011 has blessed me in more ways than I can count. A lot of good things happened this year. Besides my health, I can't really complain. Lost a couple of family members but they did live good long lives and nobody lives forever. For those of you that struggle this time of year, my heart goes out to you. It will get better. Every move I make from now on is a step closer and closer to my dreams. I don't plan on looking back and nothing will keep me from moving forward. 2012 is definitely going to be a good year too! I can't wait!
Monday, November 14, 2011
WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!!!!!
Seriously, I have never been through such a terrible ordeal in a long time. Things always seem to happen when you need to get things done. I started having digestive/tummy troubles around halloween. I don't think I realized how right the doctor probably was that I just had too much going on. I think this was probably a major part of it but when I started to slow down I guess it was just too late. Honestly, I wouldn't change any of it even if it did make me sick. I helped a lot of people and reached out to my community for good causes. It wasn't like I was out and on the go constantly doing things I did not have any business doing. So if it made me sick to make someone else's day or to save someone's life, I would not change anything!!! A person's life and a touched heart to bring hope is priceless...
I started to feel really bad on Monday aka Halloween. I had to miss taking my pooch to the Davenport Halloween Parade because I ended up going to the Emergency room right after work. Talk about the wrong time to go. I didn't have to wait, but this guy around my age showed up with his hand on ice where his finger was almost all the way off. They say "chainsaw accident". When I saw the blood and his hand I slunched down in the chair where they were getting information from me on my health history. I was like "ummmm, I might be here for two different reasons here in a sec." I felt awfully woosey...lol They told me they were going to take him first and I was totally fine with that. GET THAT KID OUT OF MY SITE!!! LOL!!! I don't know why I am like that about blood. I used to get nose bleeds as a kid and they were bad!! You would figure I would be used to it, but my mind and stomach have taken a totally different turn since I have gotten older.
I thought I was okay when I left the ER. Got a pain med and blood tests and x-rays of my stomach. The doc gave me a laxative along with a diet plan and told me I should be fine after that. UM NO... I get to work and I start not to feel good again on Wednesday morning. It was back to Trinity at around 10:30 am. Let's just say I probably ruined one nurses day, but I did feel slightly better. I was sent home with a pain med. Friday, discomfort again. By the time Friday night came I was totally uncomfortable. When I woke up Saturday I was in pain!!!! Something told me I was not come back home right away. I just want to say that 53rd street sucks when you are in pain. I drove myself, stiff as you don't know what holding on to my stomach with every bump and thud on that road. They want to repave and fix something? FIX THE ENTIRE 53RD STREET PLEASE!!!!
I come in with all the paperwork from my past 2 ER visits in moline and they take me back to a room. I was dehydrated from not eating because I was not feeling well enough to eat or drink. They take blood. I get shot up with pain meds and hooked up to an IV. I had never been so scared in my life. A main doc, a nurse, and the internest on call came in. My vitals were taken multiple times. No sounds were coming from my stomach. My blood pressure would not go down. All I could do was cry when the pain was so bad. I was good as long as I was on pain meds. Otherwise it was back to tears and another shot in the IV from the nurse. A resident doctor came in and wanted the full story. I was like OMG!!! The last I remember is the doc saying "well, what should we do with you? I could send you home with pain meds but...that does not solve the problem and in fact could make it worse." The next thing I know they are admitting me...
The things I have pulled away from this horrible experience. GoLytely is not your friend. It will make you very sick. It cleaned me out alright. Both ends. NOT COOL. The nursing staff was much nicer on the weekend that the weekly staff. These younger nurses need to learn some things from the older ladies who have been around for a while. They call it caring and compassion. The medical field is not for everyone. Don't do it just for the money but because you care about people and want to help them. The Gastro doc, really nice but I was not happy that he prepared me for a colonoscopy, decided not to do it and didn't tell anyone that he wasn't going to do it and so I was starving and dehydrated with no fluids for over 12 hours until he decided to show up late Monday after his clinic time. He tells me things to eat, that I have already been eating, I cut out the fast food, and yet I am sick. Nowhere are we saying what has caused this monstrosity of a sickness where I have basically wasted away 30 lbs in a very short amount of time. Communication between patients and medical providers is key. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE STARVING AND THE NURSE WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU ICE CHIPS AND TELLS YOU SHE CAN SWAB YOUR MOUTH AND NEVER SHOWS UP TO DO IT AND HAD THE DOC JUST SAID I AM NOT DOING THE PROCEDURE I WOULD NOT HAVE HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!
okay, I am doing better. I did get to see my mom whom I havn't seen since July, so I guess there is an upside to this ordeal and I did lose some weight so I will look a lil better for the pageant. But boy did that cost me! lol! I can laugh now, but at the time not so funny. You try chugging down what is a whole gallon of basically watered down salt water and see how you feel after almost 2-3 cups in. Never again, so I hope.
So later this afternoon I follow up with the Gastro doctor. I will have my questions ready. I still have not started eating dairy or hot/spicy food. I miss it so much. (pizza, hot sauce, cheese burgers, chili cheese fries) you know, all the stuff I was not eating before and now I am not allowed to have but craving. For now it is turkey, chicken, fish. No fried greasy beef. Maybe one weekend when I have no place to be I will indulge in a very small cheese burger and chili cheese fries and see what happens. lol Right now I am not willing to take the chance so close to the pageant.
SO much to do and so little time. I definitely lost prep time being in the hospital. Didn't get to make any extra money and lost time to actually sit down and prepare my packing list, get out and try to get more sponsorship money, etc. Only a few hundred more dollars away. like $400. But in the end, my health is the most important and that is what I need to realize. You can expect the worst and hope for the best. It could have been way worse of a situation than what it is. Nothing can replace your life. I am just thankful that I am well enough to compete for nationals.
So here goes nothing!!! Everyone wish me luck as I leave for Orlando next week!!! I can't wait. Thanks so much for all the thoughts, prayers, and concerns as I was going through so much being hospitalized. God answered and I am so thankful for every single person who is in my life that helped me and was there for me in my darkest hours...
I started to feel really bad on Monday aka Halloween. I had to miss taking my pooch to the Davenport Halloween Parade because I ended up going to the Emergency room right after work. Talk about the wrong time to go. I didn't have to wait, but this guy around my age showed up with his hand on ice where his finger was almost all the way off. They say "chainsaw accident". When I saw the blood and his hand I slunched down in the chair where they were getting information from me on my health history. I was like "ummmm, I might be here for two different reasons here in a sec." I felt awfully woosey...lol They told me they were going to take him first and I was totally fine with that. GET THAT KID OUT OF MY SITE!!! LOL!!! I don't know why I am like that about blood. I used to get nose bleeds as a kid and they were bad!! You would figure I would be used to it, but my mind and stomach have taken a totally different turn since I have gotten older.
I thought I was okay when I left the ER. Got a pain med and blood tests and x-rays of my stomach. The doc gave me a laxative along with a diet plan and told me I should be fine after that. UM NO... I get to work and I start not to feel good again on Wednesday morning. It was back to Trinity at around 10:30 am. Let's just say I probably ruined one nurses day, but I did feel slightly better. I was sent home with a pain med. Friday, discomfort again. By the time Friday night came I was totally uncomfortable. When I woke up Saturday I was in pain!!!! Something told me I was not come back home right away. I just want to say that 53rd street sucks when you are in pain. I drove myself, stiff as you don't know what holding on to my stomach with every bump and thud on that road. They want to repave and fix something? FIX THE ENTIRE 53RD STREET PLEASE!!!!
I come in with all the paperwork from my past 2 ER visits in moline and they take me back to a room. I was dehydrated from not eating because I was not feeling well enough to eat or drink. They take blood. I get shot up with pain meds and hooked up to an IV. I had never been so scared in my life. A main doc, a nurse, and the internest on call came in. My vitals were taken multiple times. No sounds were coming from my stomach. My blood pressure would not go down. All I could do was cry when the pain was so bad. I was good as long as I was on pain meds. Otherwise it was back to tears and another shot in the IV from the nurse. A resident doctor came in and wanted the full story. I was like OMG!!! The last I remember is the doc saying "well, what should we do with you? I could send you home with pain meds but...that does not solve the problem and in fact could make it worse." The next thing I know they are admitting me...
The things I have pulled away from this horrible experience. GoLytely is not your friend. It will make you very sick. It cleaned me out alright. Both ends. NOT COOL. The nursing staff was much nicer on the weekend that the weekly staff. These younger nurses need to learn some things from the older ladies who have been around for a while. They call it caring and compassion. The medical field is not for everyone. Don't do it just for the money but because you care about people and want to help them. The Gastro doc, really nice but I was not happy that he prepared me for a colonoscopy, decided not to do it and didn't tell anyone that he wasn't going to do it and so I was starving and dehydrated with no fluids for over 12 hours until he decided to show up late Monday after his clinic time. He tells me things to eat, that I have already been eating, I cut out the fast food, and yet I am sick. Nowhere are we saying what has caused this monstrosity of a sickness where I have basically wasted away 30 lbs in a very short amount of time. Communication between patients and medical providers is key. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE STARVING AND THE NURSE WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU ICE CHIPS AND TELLS YOU SHE CAN SWAB YOUR MOUTH AND NEVER SHOWS UP TO DO IT AND HAD THE DOC JUST SAID I AM NOT DOING THE PROCEDURE I WOULD NOT HAVE HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!
okay, I am doing better. I did get to see my mom whom I havn't seen since July, so I guess there is an upside to this ordeal and I did lose some weight so I will look a lil better for the pageant. But boy did that cost me! lol! I can laugh now, but at the time not so funny. You try chugging down what is a whole gallon of basically watered down salt water and see how you feel after almost 2-3 cups in. Never again, so I hope.
So later this afternoon I follow up with the Gastro doctor. I will have my questions ready. I still have not started eating dairy or hot/spicy food. I miss it so much. (pizza, hot sauce, cheese burgers, chili cheese fries) you know, all the stuff I was not eating before and now I am not allowed to have but craving. For now it is turkey, chicken, fish. No fried greasy beef. Maybe one weekend when I have no place to be I will indulge in a very small cheese burger and chili cheese fries and see what happens. lol Right now I am not willing to take the chance so close to the pageant.
SO much to do and so little time. I definitely lost prep time being in the hospital. Didn't get to make any extra money and lost time to actually sit down and prepare my packing list, get out and try to get more sponsorship money, etc. Only a few hundred more dollars away. like $400. But in the end, my health is the most important and that is what I need to realize. You can expect the worst and hope for the best. It could have been way worse of a situation than what it is. Nothing can replace your life. I am just thankful that I am well enough to compete for nationals.
So here goes nothing!!! Everyone wish me luck as I leave for Orlando next week!!! I can't wait. Thanks so much for all the thoughts, prayers, and concerns as I was going through so much being hospitalized. God answered and I am so thankful for every single person who is in my life that helped me and was there for me in my darkest hours...
Thursday, October 20, 2011
NAMI Candlelight Dinner 10/5/2011
I assume that if you are from the Quad Cities that you know what "The Lodge" in Bettendorf is or you it least know where it is. I drive past that exit daily and I guess I just assumed it was a bank or hotel from the interstate. My aunt even asked me once what it was when I was driving her and my cousin around town. I never knew. Now I know and I must say that it is really beautiful on the inside!!!
The tables were set up so nice and I noticed a lot of people at these tables that were at the walk, including a couple of the guys I had taken photos with. They all came up to me and gave me hugs and were glad that I had came. Others hadn't seen me before even if they were at the walk, but now we were in a much more smaller setting. My seat was at the front table which was labeled "head table". I guess this was important. I immediately began conversing with a lady that held a position with NAMI at another location and I started to share some of my story. Later I heard hers when she stood up and I must say, you never know how bad it can really be until you hear someone else that has been through some things with mental health that don't even touch where you have been. She has done a lot of great work and she was even given an award. I was moved by everything she had to say. One of the things she had said to me was that you see other people when you speak and you can tell who can relate by the look in their eyes. I don't remember too much these days as my memory has deteriorated since dad's death, but I do remember that.
There were about 8 seats at this head table and one of those seats had my name on it and next to me was Jay Kidwell. In front of each place was a different flavor of slice of cake. It all looked so good. What looked really good was the big slice of strawberry that was in front of Jay's chair. It's funny how things work out... At the end of dinner we ended up playing musical cake. I had lemon, which was fine, but he offered to trade. It was like we were in school again. It's the lil things you know? lol I ended up with the strawberry piece he had before me and it was SOOOOOOO good. I don't know if it was the cake or the fact that I hadn't had strawberry cake or anything of that nature since I started to watch what I eat in preparation for my pageant.
Dinner was done and then the master of ceremonies stood up to begin, that being Jay Kidwell, the person who was the whole reason I found NAMI to begin with. He really is a great person. I can't help but think to myself, what is his connection with NAMI? Apparently, he has been master of ceremonies for the past few years. I am kind of curious if he has a personal story or if it is just a cause that chose him or he chose. Time will only tell and I am pretty sure we will cross paths again. After all, he did give me his business card.
I was the first person introduced after he talked for a lil bit. I talked briefly about who I was, where I came from, and how I got involved with NAMI. Not too long, not too short and I made it through without crying. I think it was the fact that I knew that alot of people in that room understood me. They were at this dinner because they either had experienced mental illness personally or they have friends or family that do. I got to light the main candle in memory of those whose lives had been lost due to suicide and those that still struggle with depression daily. I could feel goosebumps as I lit the candle and felt really honored to be asked to light THE candle.
They showed a few short segments of a video following about 5 people who live with mental illness. They talked about who they are and what they like to do, what type of illness they have, how/if they have accepted their illness, the darkest moments they have had, how they cope, and how far they have come. After each segment people at the dinner were asked to share their thoughts or personal experiences on these subjects. I stood up a few times. I mentioned that I don't think I had accepted it until I felt better than I did before I started the treatment. I also shared that when I am down or need something to occupy my mind I like to color in coloring books or play with my dog. Animals have a way of relieving a lot of stress and need a lot of love. Going back to my Miss KY International platform, I mentioned that if they did not have pets or couldn't afford them, there are a lot of animals at the local shelter that need love and attention and that many shelters accept volunteers to do just that. My Snoopy has been great through all of my highs and lows. I got him a lil over a year after my dad passed. They have lots of love to give back and they love you no matter what your mental flaws are.
One lady said that she loves to bake when she is down. Someone else said they do big puzzles. It all makes sense, doing something that makes you happy that you like to do that will distract those dark thoughts. The lady that loves to bake said you have to be distracted for the period of time you follow the recipe. You can't walk away or you will forget what ingredients you have added or what step you are on. It really does as I love to bake too. I made some awesome pumpkin bread last weekend with some time I had off from making appearances. I've been too busy to do anything, which has been a good thing. When I have too much time on my hands my mind wanders...not always good. I guess you can say that when I made my bread I was coping in a way. It turned out great and the coworkers loved it.
In the backgroud of the dinner there was artwork displayed from a local artist. He was also videotaping at the dinner. His name was Carlos Duran. Really nice paintings. He stated that whatever was sold that night that the proceeds would go to NAMI. After the dinner he approached me and well, after a very long conversation I was more educated on the history of Cinco de Mayo and booked another appearance at a Latino conference in Muscatine on the morning of October 29th. A lot of youth are supposed to be there and not sure how I will fit in but it is for a good cause and a learning experience for myself. Afterall, my best friend is hispanic and my middle sister is half hispanic and... Mexican food is my favorite. I love the culture and honestly I would love to learn the language and the background of it all. Half of the people I meet think I am one of them anyway, lol and having the name Monica does not help!! LOL!!!! Nothing like some homemade chips and salsa with jalapenos. :)
The tables were set up so nice and I noticed a lot of people at these tables that were at the walk, including a couple of the guys I had taken photos with. They all came up to me and gave me hugs and were glad that I had came. Others hadn't seen me before even if they were at the walk, but now we were in a much more smaller setting. My seat was at the front table which was labeled "head table". I guess this was important. I immediately began conversing with a lady that held a position with NAMI at another location and I started to share some of my story. Later I heard hers when she stood up and I must say, you never know how bad it can really be until you hear someone else that has been through some things with mental health that don't even touch where you have been. She has done a lot of great work and she was even given an award. I was moved by everything she had to say. One of the things she had said to me was that you see other people when you speak and you can tell who can relate by the look in their eyes. I don't remember too much these days as my memory has deteriorated since dad's death, but I do remember that.
There were about 8 seats at this head table and one of those seats had my name on it and next to me was Jay Kidwell. In front of each place was a different flavor of slice of cake. It all looked so good. What looked really good was the big slice of strawberry that was in front of Jay's chair. It's funny how things work out... At the end of dinner we ended up playing musical cake. I had lemon, which was fine, but he offered to trade. It was like we were in school again. It's the lil things you know? lol I ended up with the strawberry piece he had before me and it was SOOOOOOO good. I don't know if it was the cake or the fact that I hadn't had strawberry cake or anything of that nature since I started to watch what I eat in preparation for my pageant.
Dinner was done and then the master of ceremonies stood up to begin, that being Jay Kidwell, the person who was the whole reason I found NAMI to begin with. He really is a great person. I can't help but think to myself, what is his connection with NAMI? Apparently, he has been master of ceremonies for the past few years. I am kind of curious if he has a personal story or if it is just a cause that chose him or he chose. Time will only tell and I am pretty sure we will cross paths again. After all, he did give me his business card.
I was the first person introduced after he talked for a lil bit. I talked briefly about who I was, where I came from, and how I got involved with NAMI. Not too long, not too short and I made it through without crying. I think it was the fact that I knew that alot of people in that room understood me. They were at this dinner because they either had experienced mental illness personally or they have friends or family that do. I got to light the main candle in memory of those whose lives had been lost due to suicide and those that still struggle with depression daily. I could feel goosebumps as I lit the candle and felt really honored to be asked to light THE candle.
They showed a few short segments of a video following about 5 people who live with mental illness. They talked about who they are and what they like to do, what type of illness they have, how/if they have accepted their illness, the darkest moments they have had, how they cope, and how far they have come. After each segment people at the dinner were asked to share their thoughts or personal experiences on these subjects. I stood up a few times. I mentioned that I don't think I had accepted it until I felt better than I did before I started the treatment. I also shared that when I am down or need something to occupy my mind I like to color in coloring books or play with my dog. Animals have a way of relieving a lot of stress and need a lot of love. Going back to my Miss KY International platform, I mentioned that if they did not have pets or couldn't afford them, there are a lot of animals at the local shelter that need love and attention and that many shelters accept volunteers to do just that. My Snoopy has been great through all of my highs and lows. I got him a lil over a year after my dad passed. They have lots of love to give back and they love you no matter what your mental flaws are.
One lady said that she loves to bake when she is down. Someone else said they do big puzzles. It all makes sense, doing something that makes you happy that you like to do that will distract those dark thoughts. The lady that loves to bake said you have to be distracted for the period of time you follow the recipe. You can't walk away or you will forget what ingredients you have added or what step you are on. It really does as I love to bake too. I made some awesome pumpkin bread last weekend with some time I had off from making appearances. I've been too busy to do anything, which has been a good thing. When I have too much time on my hands my mind wanders...not always good. I guess you can say that when I made my bread I was coping in a way. It turned out great and the coworkers loved it.
In the backgroud of the dinner there was artwork displayed from a local artist. He was also videotaping at the dinner. His name was Carlos Duran. Really nice paintings. He stated that whatever was sold that night that the proceeds would go to NAMI. After the dinner he approached me and well, after a very long conversation I was more educated on the history of Cinco de Mayo and booked another appearance at a Latino conference in Muscatine on the morning of October 29th. A lot of youth are supposed to be there and not sure how I will fit in but it is for a good cause and a learning experience for myself. Afterall, my best friend is hispanic and my middle sister is half hispanic and... Mexican food is my favorite. I love the culture and honestly I would love to learn the language and the background of it all. Half of the people I meet think I am one of them anyway, lol and having the name Monica does not help!! LOL!!!! Nothing like some homemade chips and salsa with jalapenos. :)
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Light the Night Walks 2011 (Des Moines and Quad Cities)
On the road again, October 8, 2011 with the pooch for the Light The Night Walk in Des Moines. I was thankful that this time #1 I got to take my dog with me for the day rather than having my best friend come to my house to let him out and him spending the day alone, and #2 I got to SLEEP IN past 7am. Being up early ALL the time and never getting to sleep in when you have a 9-5 career job can take its toll on ya. I got to take my time getting ready and I didn't have to be dressed up! Just my walking shoes, sweats, a comfy shirt, and the pooch. The weather was perfect, upper 70s and Snoopy was more than happy to hop in the car with his mama. :)
I have to be honest, I did not expect so many people. I also did not expect that it was going to be soooooo windy! Snoopy didn't expect us to be at a table right by the band or that there was going to be balloons popping left and right. He is good with crowds, just not good with extreme loud noise. I had to get up and leave my table due to the fact that Snoopy just couldn't take it and the sun was right in our face, lol So we walked around, meeted and greeted, and stood in our line so that we could grab a balloon. Red is for supporter, white is for survivor and gold was for walking in memory of. I was okay when I got my balloon. Snoopy was not, he was literally digging his toenails into the ground with his tail between his legs. I ended up having to take him to the car. Good thing it was starting to get dark out and the night was getting cooler so he wouldn't be hot. I am also thankful I got a close space to the stage so that when it was time to go I could just get to him...
I saw a table where people were writing with markers on a banner and writing on a sticker badge telling if they were walking for or in memory of. I have to be honest here, I think that was one of the hardest things I had to do besides planning the funeral for daddy... Writing his name on the "I'm walking in memory of..." Then I wrote on the banner that I loved him and I missed him so much. After that it was just kind of hard for me. It was like I was in a daze... I think it was actually real. This was my first walk in memory of my daddy and here I was walking around with this sticker that confirmed it. They ran out of gold balloons, maybe that just says something. But there were a lot of white and red which says something too. We have come a long way. People are surviving...
Before the walk started there were people that were going on stage to speak. The walk chair, the honorary patient, and awards for man and woman of the year that raised the most money individually. The man of the year, I think this just set the tone and it broke my heart to hear him speak. About 3 weeks prior to the walk, his two year old had fell off a slide at a park and they go to the doc. They found out he had leukemia. His voice was cracking and I could tell that he was holding back the tears... His son came on stage and he grabs him and hugs him the hardest hug you could imagine. His hair was already a thing of the past. My heart ached for them and tears started to roll down my face. I remember how I hugged my dad in front of my great uncle's house when he told me he had leukemia and I had started to cry. I was trying my best to hold back and I was asked to take the stage to tell my story of my dad. I immediately started to break down crying and had to apologize and pause. I did finish my story and I thanked the crowd for coming out. I know there were over a 1000 people there. It was emotional. As I got off stage there were people including the executive director that hugged me and gave me words of encouragement. Melanie Brown, she is such a comforting and wonderful person. She says to me, "the beautiful thing is, all these people walking here tonight understand exactly how you feel" I don't think she could have said it any better.
We start the walk and all these people are in front of me. I am now alone with my balloon lit in the night. I felt a part of something but at the same time I just did not want to walk alone and really wished that snoopy could have walked but his anxiety got to be too much, and that I can relate to as well... Out of nowhere this lady comes up to me and says, Thank you for sharing and I was hoping to catch up with you. It was like God felt my loneliness and made sure that I was not alone. She was probably old enough to be my mom and she says to me, I feel like you were telling my story. This was her first walk as well and she lost her dad to leukemia when she was 19. I couldn't believe the similarities and all of a sudden I felt like someone really did understand. She walked the whole walk with me with her daughter and grandkids. At the end of the walk she gave me a big hug and I gave her my card after taking pics with her and her family. A weight was lifted. God took care of me just like he always does... It was like she was a guardian angel that came out of nowhere. At the end everyone was letting go of their lighted balloons into the night air. I took the weight off of mine, said a prayer and told my daddy I loved him and watched it go out in the night sky...
I got to the car and snoopy was ready for a potty break before hitting the road. We get back in the car and he gives me a doggie kiss on my cheek. He always knows my heart :)
Quad Cities Walk the following weekend, NOT SO PERFECT!! This time I knew better than to bring the dog, lol The wind was gusting and it was freeeeeezzzzzzzing!!! Not as many people in Des Moines, not even close, but I think we would have had a far better turnout had the weather not been so crazy. We even started a lil earlier since it was already dark and people were cold. Thanks to my friend Clarence, I was able to get a lot more stuff on camera to capture the night. I was even handed a glass/acrylic award with my name on it for being honorary walk chair. It was also amazing because I was able to turn in almost $200 thanks to the office I work for and my mom, and a lil help with donors around P&G supporting the cause. My best friend Noemi and her lil girl even came out despite this horrid weather we had. We walked and got pics. After the walk I let my balloon go. Not the same as the first go round. I was prepared and it was cold, enough to distract my emotions. The only emotion I was able to express was frustration. My car keys were not in my pockets or my crown case. OMG!!! Good thing, somebody knows somebody that knows somebody that owns a tow truck business and was able to get my keys out for me with no charge. THANKS CLARENCE!! LOL!!!
I have to be honest, I did not expect so many people. I also did not expect that it was going to be soooooo windy! Snoopy didn't expect us to be at a table right by the band or that there was going to be balloons popping left and right. He is good with crowds, just not good with extreme loud noise. I had to get up and leave my table due to the fact that Snoopy just couldn't take it and the sun was right in our face, lol So we walked around, meeted and greeted, and stood in our line so that we could grab a balloon. Red is for supporter, white is for survivor and gold was for walking in memory of. I was okay when I got my balloon. Snoopy was not, he was literally digging his toenails into the ground with his tail between his legs. I ended up having to take him to the car. Good thing it was starting to get dark out and the night was getting cooler so he wouldn't be hot. I am also thankful I got a close space to the stage so that when it was time to go I could just get to him...
I saw a table where people were writing with markers on a banner and writing on a sticker badge telling if they were walking for or in memory of. I have to be honest here, I think that was one of the hardest things I had to do besides planning the funeral for daddy... Writing his name on the "I'm walking in memory of..." Then I wrote on the banner that I loved him and I missed him so much. After that it was just kind of hard for me. It was like I was in a daze... I think it was actually real. This was my first walk in memory of my daddy and here I was walking around with this sticker that confirmed it. They ran out of gold balloons, maybe that just says something. But there were a lot of white and red which says something too. We have come a long way. People are surviving...
Before the walk started there were people that were going on stage to speak. The walk chair, the honorary patient, and awards for man and woman of the year that raised the most money individually. The man of the year, I think this just set the tone and it broke my heart to hear him speak. About 3 weeks prior to the walk, his two year old had fell off a slide at a park and they go to the doc. They found out he had leukemia. His voice was cracking and I could tell that he was holding back the tears... His son came on stage and he grabs him and hugs him the hardest hug you could imagine. His hair was already a thing of the past. My heart ached for them and tears started to roll down my face. I remember how I hugged my dad in front of my great uncle's house when he told me he had leukemia and I had started to cry. I was trying my best to hold back and I was asked to take the stage to tell my story of my dad. I immediately started to break down crying and had to apologize and pause. I did finish my story and I thanked the crowd for coming out. I know there were over a 1000 people there. It was emotional. As I got off stage there were people including the executive director that hugged me and gave me words of encouragement. Melanie Brown, she is such a comforting and wonderful person. She says to me, "the beautiful thing is, all these people walking here tonight understand exactly how you feel" I don't think she could have said it any better.
We start the walk and all these people are in front of me. I am now alone with my balloon lit in the night. I felt a part of something but at the same time I just did not want to walk alone and really wished that snoopy could have walked but his anxiety got to be too much, and that I can relate to as well... Out of nowhere this lady comes up to me and says, Thank you for sharing and I was hoping to catch up with you. It was like God felt my loneliness and made sure that I was not alone. She was probably old enough to be my mom and she says to me, I feel like you were telling my story. This was her first walk as well and she lost her dad to leukemia when she was 19. I couldn't believe the similarities and all of a sudden I felt like someone really did understand. She walked the whole walk with me with her daughter and grandkids. At the end of the walk she gave me a big hug and I gave her my card after taking pics with her and her family. A weight was lifted. God took care of me just like he always does... It was like she was a guardian angel that came out of nowhere. At the end everyone was letting go of their lighted balloons into the night air. I took the weight off of mine, said a prayer and told my daddy I loved him and watched it go out in the night sky...
I got to the car and snoopy was ready for a potty break before hitting the road. We get back in the car and he gives me a doggie kiss on my cheek. He always knows my heart :)
Quad Cities Walk the following weekend, NOT SO PERFECT!! This time I knew better than to bring the dog, lol The wind was gusting and it was freeeeeezzzzzzzing!!! Not as many people in Des Moines, not even close, but I think we would have had a far better turnout had the weather not been so crazy. We even started a lil earlier since it was already dark and people were cold. Thanks to my friend Clarence, I was able to get a lot more stuff on camera to capture the night. I was even handed a glass/acrylic award with my name on it for being honorary walk chair. It was also amazing because I was able to turn in almost $200 thanks to the office I work for and my mom, and a lil help with donors around P&G supporting the cause. My best friend Noemi and her lil girl even came out despite this horrid weather we had. We walked and got pics. After the walk I let my balloon go. Not the same as the first go round. I was prepared and it was cold, enough to distract my emotions. The only emotion I was able to express was frustration. My car keys were not in my pockets or my crown case. OMG!!! Good thing, somebody knows somebody that knows somebody that owns a tow truck business and was able to get my keys out for me with no charge. THANKS CLARENCE!! LOL!!!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Live Out Loud Charity Fashion Show!!
Finally, time to blog about the rest of the weekend after the NAMI walk!!! So I completed the NAMI walk and then me and the Snoopy dog had to head home so that I could start packing and getting ready for Part II of my, what I would like to call "Mental Health Weekend". I mean it was, I did the walk in the morning and the rest of the weekend was the Live Out Loud Charity Function.
Live Out Loud Charity was founded by Sherrie Gearheart, a fellow queen friend who I admire so dearly, and was founded for the purpose of helping people who have depression/suicide issues. This organization is dear to her because she had struggled with depression as a teen and it became more real as she lost a childhood friend to suicide. This year was the 2nd annual Fashion Show celebrating life and giving people hope who think their life means nothing. It also gave a look into Sherrie's story and the many venues she is using the organization to accomplish. It was such an honor to be a part of a show that benefits those who are just like me. I can't wait to see the DVD of the show.
This was a super long weekend which started out with a motivational seminar by Jo Jo Sayson who does these seminars all over the country and all over the world. It was really uplifting the things he spoke on to help you see "the light" I felt better coming out than when I did when I came in and that's all that mattered. Not that I was feeling super depressed but I had a lot on my mind and my anxiety had been pretty bad within the past 48 hours prior to my showing up.
Sunday started off to a rough start. I had to be up super early so I had time to get something to eat and my car wouldn't start. I had to get a jump with cables I thought I did not have at 6am and it was freezing! They don't call it the windy city for no reason!! Chicago was chilly that weekend during the night time hours. To my amazement when I go to McDonald's for a bit and I go to get in my trunk for something there was a gray bag that had jumper cables in it. Why was I thinking I didn't have jumper cables? I really should know my mom better than that. She does not let any vehicle of hers go without a set. (being a single parent teaches you a lot of things and one of them is independence to not always depend on a man for everything, I got that from my mama, lol) But this time I had to depend on this kind "man" who was working at the front desk of the hotel for a jump. After that it was waiting around for hair and make-up to be done. That was a majority of the day, well the first half. Honestly, I had only brought my evening gown, the red one, for a just in case deal. I was under the impression that titleholders/models had 2 outfits for the purpose of one for titleholder and one for model. Glad I went with my gut, lol Only problem is, it needed to be fixed with hook and eye replacement and a bigger flatter hook for the band on the inside. Good thing I brought those with me so in the midst of the craziness I was popping a squat with my dress, needle, thread, and the hooks and eyes to repair my gown. THANK GOD FOR BEING FROM A FAMILY OF CRAFTINESS AND SEWERS or I would have been screwed, lol Another thing to thank God for... PAGEANT MOMS, my dress was so wrinkled and needed to be pressed. Two women adopted me for the day and took care of the dress just in time for me to wear it. Love it!! Unfortunately, later on a girl stepped on it and ripped it. Good thing it was on the dress and not the train, so when I walked the train covered the ripped part of the gown. I know she was upset, and boy was I too, but getting all up in arms about it was not going to change the situation or make anybody feel any better. The bright side... well it wasn't my dress I am wearing to nationals :)
So it is Fashion show time and everyone looked great! Some very interesting looks. Very creative designers we had that were area designers. Who is the show starter for the title holders?? You guessed it and boy was I nervous, well, I think it was more of I did not know what to expect when I went out there. I start out and all I see are flashes from cameras. Many rounds of applause. It was awesome. I had bedhead, crazy make-up for my designer and I was dressed in my title attire. Very interesting but it was so much fun. I was really tired though, as there were it least 100 models, male and female. Tight spaces, everyone changing in the same area, trying to get things on and off quickly then waiting for cues. It was a real experience. There were even Indian Designers who had just beautiful colored designs with sparkles everywhere. I was thinking WOW!! The dancers always went in front of their line with a dance. That was awesome from what I could see from the back. Like I said, the DVD will be something to see!! Two of the ladies, Betsy and Michelle, were there from the MJL Foundation and were right in the front row! I could hear them saying my name. It was awesome! A true runway for a purpose and I loved it!
Five hours later of show, it was time to go home. I had work the next day at 8:30 a.m. I got home around 3 or so since I ended up getting lost. I mean, I took the right way home, just not the quickest like the way I had come. The upside was that I didn't have to pay all of those tolls on the way back. Downside, it was like an extra 45 minutes added on my trip. UGH!!! Boy did I sleep and it felt great. I had another week of appearances and things to do. Catching up on sleep has been a task.
Everyone wanted to know details and how it went? Well here it is almost 2 weeks later, lol That just goes to show how busy I have been between work and platforms. Being a titleholder is more than what some people think it is. It takes dedication and hard work if you truly believe in your platform and the purpose. You may hear me say omg, I had to be here there and everywhere, but at the end of the day I wouldn't change any of it for the world and it all goes for a great cause!! GO NAMI!! GO LIVE OUT LOUD CHARITY!!!!
Live Out Loud Charity was founded by Sherrie Gearheart, a fellow queen friend who I admire so dearly, and was founded for the purpose of helping people who have depression/suicide issues. This organization is dear to her because she had struggled with depression as a teen and it became more real as she lost a childhood friend to suicide. This year was the 2nd annual Fashion Show celebrating life and giving people hope who think their life means nothing. It also gave a look into Sherrie's story and the many venues she is using the organization to accomplish. It was such an honor to be a part of a show that benefits those who are just like me. I can't wait to see the DVD of the show.
This was a super long weekend which started out with a motivational seminar by Jo Jo Sayson who does these seminars all over the country and all over the world. It was really uplifting the things he spoke on to help you see "the light" I felt better coming out than when I did when I came in and that's all that mattered. Not that I was feeling super depressed but I had a lot on my mind and my anxiety had been pretty bad within the past 48 hours prior to my showing up.
Sunday started off to a rough start. I had to be up super early so I had time to get something to eat and my car wouldn't start. I had to get a jump with cables I thought I did not have at 6am and it was freezing! They don't call it the windy city for no reason!! Chicago was chilly that weekend during the night time hours. To my amazement when I go to McDonald's for a bit and I go to get in my trunk for something there was a gray bag that had jumper cables in it. Why was I thinking I didn't have jumper cables? I really should know my mom better than that. She does not let any vehicle of hers go without a set. (being a single parent teaches you a lot of things and one of them is independence to not always depend on a man for everything, I got that from my mama, lol) But this time I had to depend on this kind "man" who was working at the front desk of the hotel for a jump. After that it was waiting around for hair and make-up to be done. That was a majority of the day, well the first half. Honestly, I had only brought my evening gown, the red one, for a just in case deal. I was under the impression that titleholders/models had 2 outfits for the purpose of one for titleholder and one for model. Glad I went with my gut, lol Only problem is, it needed to be fixed with hook and eye replacement and a bigger flatter hook for the band on the inside. Good thing I brought those with me so in the midst of the craziness I was popping a squat with my dress, needle, thread, and the hooks and eyes to repair my gown. THANK GOD FOR BEING FROM A FAMILY OF CRAFTINESS AND SEWERS or I would have been screwed, lol Another thing to thank God for... PAGEANT MOMS, my dress was so wrinkled and needed to be pressed. Two women adopted me for the day and took care of the dress just in time for me to wear it. Love it!! Unfortunately, later on a girl stepped on it and ripped it. Good thing it was on the dress and not the train, so when I walked the train covered the ripped part of the gown. I know she was upset, and boy was I too, but getting all up in arms about it was not going to change the situation or make anybody feel any better. The bright side... well it wasn't my dress I am wearing to nationals :)
So it is Fashion show time and everyone looked great! Some very interesting looks. Very creative designers we had that were area designers. Who is the show starter for the title holders?? You guessed it and boy was I nervous, well, I think it was more of I did not know what to expect when I went out there. I start out and all I see are flashes from cameras. Many rounds of applause. It was awesome. I had bedhead, crazy make-up for my designer and I was dressed in my title attire. Very interesting but it was so much fun. I was really tired though, as there were it least 100 models, male and female. Tight spaces, everyone changing in the same area, trying to get things on and off quickly then waiting for cues. It was a real experience. There were even Indian Designers who had just beautiful colored designs with sparkles everywhere. I was thinking WOW!! The dancers always went in front of their line with a dance. That was awesome from what I could see from the back. Like I said, the DVD will be something to see!! Two of the ladies, Betsy and Michelle, were there from the MJL Foundation and were right in the front row! I could hear them saying my name. It was awesome! A true runway for a purpose and I loved it!
Five hours later of show, it was time to go home. I had work the next day at 8:30 a.m. I got home around 3 or so since I ended up getting lost. I mean, I took the right way home, just not the quickest like the way I had come. The upside was that I didn't have to pay all of those tolls on the way back. Downside, it was like an extra 45 minutes added on my trip. UGH!!! Boy did I sleep and it felt great. I had another week of appearances and things to do. Catching up on sleep has been a task.
Everyone wanted to know details and how it went? Well here it is almost 2 weeks later, lol That just goes to show how busy I have been between work and platforms. Being a titleholder is more than what some people think it is. It takes dedication and hard work if you truly believe in your platform and the purpose. You may hear me say omg, I had to be here there and everywhere, but at the end of the day I wouldn't change any of it for the world and it all goes for a great cause!! GO NAMI!! GO LIVE OUT LOUD CHARITY!!!!
Monday, October 10, 2011
NAMI WALK 2011
The past few weeks have been so crazy, but I have enjoyed every minute of it. I wish there were rewards for the mileage on your car because let me tell you, I have been everywhere it seems!! Let's start with Saturday, October 1, 2011.
I was told about this organization, NAMI, through Jay Kidwell of Channel 4 News at a previous appearance. Again, Jay, thank you so much!! This organization is exactly what I needed to be involved with as its mission is my mission through my community service through my platform of mental health awareness. To break the Mental Health Stigma.
I didn't know what to expect when I showed up as far as a crowd, but this was a huge crowd that was full of people with their dogs, including my snoopy, and many people who had mental illnesses of all types, along with their family, friends, and supporters. It felt really good to be around people that actually understand. Many came up to me with hugs, wanting pictures, autographs, and I passed out my cards telling them they could follow my blog as I talk about my appearances and personal dealings with mental illness. One lady came to a table I was standing at with pictures for signing and she introduced herself. I told her I had a mental illness too and that I was recovering from Depression and Anxiety. She said "really?" and I told her I take meds just like she does. Then she told me about her diagnosis and meds she takes. It was this exchange of information that made me realize that me coming out and talking about it is making people more comfortable to talk about it. She had a smile on her face that was not that of exactly joy, but kind of a relief. She shook my hand and thanked me for coming. What people fail to realize is, when I go out in support of mental health, it is not just for their organization or because I am a title holder. This is the first time I am comfortable enough to go public with this and this is my healing in a way. It makes me feel better to be around people and I get chills and a feeling of hope of breaking the stigma as every person comes and shares their stories with me.
When I went on stage with my dog and announced to this large crowd of people my platforms and why I stand before them, there was a huge applause. As I walked off stage, there was the mayor of Davenport and the Mayor of Rock Island. They both thanked me for coming out. I told Mayor Gluba I felt honored to meet him as he was me and that I was happy to finally catch up with him. It was then that we started on our walk at the start of the line and he shared his story about mental illness that runs in his family and how his daughter still struggles with hers to this day. I learned a lot about myself talking to him and what his daughter went through. I couldn't help but question some things that I had done in my past since my dad died that fit some of the things he was talking about. We walked the whole walk together and at the end of the walk he wanted one of my autographed photos and I gave him my card. What a nice person to meet and it makes me feel good that there is someone that high in the community that has their own experiences and backs me in my efforts to spread the word on mental health awareness and breaking the stigma society has unfortunately created.
I took many pics, signed autographs and connected with many people that were there with mental illnesses. Little did I know that these people love to support each other in any of their efforts to do other things. I mentioned my walk for my dad coming up on Friday and many of them want to walk with me. I just want to let any of them know that are reading this I really appreciate it. Thank you again!!
I was told about this organization, NAMI, through Jay Kidwell of Channel 4 News at a previous appearance. Again, Jay, thank you so much!! This organization is exactly what I needed to be involved with as its mission is my mission through my community service through my platform of mental health awareness. To break the Mental Health Stigma.
I didn't know what to expect when I showed up as far as a crowd, but this was a huge crowd that was full of people with their dogs, including my snoopy, and many people who had mental illnesses of all types, along with their family, friends, and supporters. It felt really good to be around people that actually understand. Many came up to me with hugs, wanting pictures, autographs, and I passed out my cards telling them they could follow my blog as I talk about my appearances and personal dealings with mental illness. One lady came to a table I was standing at with pictures for signing and she introduced herself. I told her I had a mental illness too and that I was recovering from Depression and Anxiety. She said "really?" and I told her I take meds just like she does. Then she told me about her diagnosis and meds she takes. It was this exchange of information that made me realize that me coming out and talking about it is making people more comfortable to talk about it. She had a smile on her face that was not that of exactly joy, but kind of a relief. She shook my hand and thanked me for coming. What people fail to realize is, when I go out in support of mental health, it is not just for their organization or because I am a title holder. This is the first time I am comfortable enough to go public with this and this is my healing in a way. It makes me feel better to be around people and I get chills and a feeling of hope of breaking the stigma as every person comes and shares their stories with me.
When I went on stage with my dog and announced to this large crowd of people my platforms and why I stand before them, there was a huge applause. As I walked off stage, there was the mayor of Davenport and the Mayor of Rock Island. They both thanked me for coming out. I told Mayor Gluba I felt honored to meet him as he was me and that I was happy to finally catch up with him. It was then that we started on our walk at the start of the line and he shared his story about mental illness that runs in his family and how his daughter still struggles with hers to this day. I learned a lot about myself talking to him and what his daughter went through. I couldn't help but question some things that I had done in my past since my dad died that fit some of the things he was talking about. We walked the whole walk together and at the end of the walk he wanted one of my autographed photos and I gave him my card. What a nice person to meet and it makes me feel good that there is someone that high in the community that has their own experiences and backs me in my efforts to spread the word on mental health awareness and breaking the stigma society has unfortunately created.
I took many pics, signed autographs and connected with many people that were there with mental illnesses. Little did I know that these people love to support each other in any of their efforts to do other things. I mentioned my walk for my dad coming up on Friday and many of them want to walk with me. I just want to let any of them know that are reading this I really appreciate it. Thank you again!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Ford Models!!!!!!!
First, I just want to say that I feel very blessed with every opportunity that I have been given in the past year thus far. I in no way imagined that 2011 would be so awesome for me. I was positive about wanting 2011 to be one of the best years yet, but I must say that this year has been exceptional. From my new job, photoshoots, titles, pageants, modeling opportunities and speaking engagements to the community service. I have had a couple of downfalls with a few deaths on both sides of the family and some issues with my mental health, but nothing that has been able to stop me from being able to prosper and keep moving forward.
If you didn't know, I was offered a test shoot with Ford Models scout/photographer Marc Tuscher. If you don't know who this guy is, you HAVE to look him up. He is awesome!! Such a nice guy and knows his stuff and has an awesome eye. I was in Des Moines on Sunday morning bright and early at 9am. I was told to bring all types of clothing. It was just four looks but... I had no idea what was in store for me. When I arrived I laid out all my clothes I had brought and my what seemed like millions of shoes (I won't even tell you how many heels I brought). He picked out all 4 of my looks. I had a lil say in it that he made sure I liked what I was wearing. I would have never put together those outfits that he did, but they were FABULOUS!!!! I was dressed like a model. The weather was a lil chilly but by the pics you would never know it. So we packed up everything I was going to use and everything I wasn't and headed out to the car. We were headed on location, whereever that was, because neither one of us were from the area and had no idea where we were headed... Quite interesting...
So we arrive at the Des Moines Register. I was dressed in black leggings and a purple shirt. Natural make-up, curly hair, gold peep toe shoes to match the gold that was on the chains on the shirt. I was a lil nervous in that I had never just worn tights and a shirt out like that. But I was confident because it looked good with the weight I had lost which means my hard work is paying off!!! We were inside of a bus stop. Now you may be thinking really? But when he kept telling me "beautiful" "big pretty smile" "great" and even showed me some of the pics, I was like "omg, really?" They look very very awesome and some you wouldn't even know I was inside of a bus stop. Except for the ones where I am on the bench... But I was very pleased with the shots that he did show me and I tell ya, I can't wait to get the disc to see the final product!!!
Next change, yes in the back seat of a car, small tight space, I have been in smaller spaces... Super hot and super cold. It's all part of the process and you gotta be quick. Never want to waste time. Next outfit, short khaki shorts, high wedge brown sandals, brown tank, brown pin striped blazer with a lil patch on the side chest like a harry potter or prep school jacket. Never would have put it together and it was so cute!! We were at a dead end where there was metal strips that were red and white striped to show it was a dead end and on the other side was a field. Again, awesome photos. I look so tall, but I guess because my legs are so long looking. It sucked that it was chilly and I had on this little shorts and sandals, but again, you do what you got to do and pretend it is 75 degrees and sunny. Mind over matter. If you can't do it you will never make it in the industry. And honestly, it could have been way colder than it was but it just wasn't. So that made it a lil easier... Just wait until you see these shots!!!!! A serious portfolio upgrade!!
Next stop around the corner, some type of company, not sure what they do and can't remember the name. Their building was outlined in a royal blue and had some glass squared looking windows that only reflect and you can't see in, but we utilized the wall and then that part of the building in the background. Skinny jeans, white tank, blue frilly peep toe heels that I had bought myself for my birthday the first year I was here for the blue and white party. Too cute! One of my fav pairs of shoes and I only wore them once. I should have got the red ones too. I paid a nice penny for them compared to what I usually pay for pumps, but hey, sometimes a girl wants a pair of pumps so bad she gotta have em. I got my eye on some suede royal purple ones. They will be in the wardrobe soon!!!
Now for the last look. My what I like to call "Barbie dress" I havn't been able to fit this dress in years and it is still cute. This is also how I know my weight has really gone down. It is a black fitted a-lind dress with a wide pink neck line and bow at the side of the neck and then a wide pink waist that goes all the way around. Not a belt though. We drove to a place that had these glass looking cubes that made a wall that was like an enclosure. Neat is all I can say. Wore it with black pumps because I feel the pink heels I have, none of the shades came close enough. I felt like a lil girl and I know my mom will be excited about some of these pics. She is a huge barbie fan, especially the vintage barbie and this is something like what the barbie in her day would have worn. I will definitely be getting some of those pics to her. He showed me some of them and they were "cute"
When that was done we were all done and there was more high fives!!! He said I rocked this shoot and I know I can't wait to see what all the pics look like. I just hope that Ford Models NYC will be as impressed as he was. Not really sure how it works when these companies get suggestions from scouts. But we shall see!!! So all in all I felt really great about the shoot and he made me feel better about it as much feed back as he was giving. It did a lot for my model confidence in that I was easy to work with and took direction well and he was so excited about it. I just pray that this is God's plan for me, well, one of them anyway :)
So I was pretty tired after it was all said and done and as you can imagine when I got home... it was bedtime. A nap was way overdue. I had been up since 5am!!! I will tell you that this is the simplest shoot that I have done. Everything was all natural, no jewelry, no accessories, and all I had to do was take direction. I didn't even have to pick the outfits!! I loved it!! Stay tuned for pics and updates! I will have my disc around the end of October!!! You won't want to miss this portfolio update!
I am so blessed to have received such a great opportunity. Too bad I accidentally took the photographer's hat when I grabbed my clothes out of the car. But not to worry!!! I texted him and let him know and he sent me an address to send it back. Nothing like losing or misplacing your favorite accessory, like a hat or watch or pair of shoes... fav shirt... ya know. I promise Marc, it will be in the mail soon!!! LOL!!
If you didn't know, I was offered a test shoot with Ford Models scout/photographer Marc Tuscher. If you don't know who this guy is, you HAVE to look him up. He is awesome!! Such a nice guy and knows his stuff and has an awesome eye. I was in Des Moines on Sunday morning bright and early at 9am. I was told to bring all types of clothing. It was just four looks but... I had no idea what was in store for me. When I arrived I laid out all my clothes I had brought and my what seemed like millions of shoes (I won't even tell you how many heels I brought). He picked out all 4 of my looks. I had a lil say in it that he made sure I liked what I was wearing. I would have never put together those outfits that he did, but they were FABULOUS!!!! I was dressed like a model. The weather was a lil chilly but by the pics you would never know it. So we packed up everything I was going to use and everything I wasn't and headed out to the car. We were headed on location, whereever that was, because neither one of us were from the area and had no idea where we were headed... Quite interesting...
So we arrive at the Des Moines Register. I was dressed in black leggings and a purple shirt. Natural make-up, curly hair, gold peep toe shoes to match the gold that was on the chains on the shirt. I was a lil nervous in that I had never just worn tights and a shirt out like that. But I was confident because it looked good with the weight I had lost which means my hard work is paying off!!! We were inside of a bus stop. Now you may be thinking really? But when he kept telling me "beautiful" "big pretty smile" "great" and even showed me some of the pics, I was like "omg, really?" They look very very awesome and some you wouldn't even know I was inside of a bus stop. Except for the ones where I am on the bench... But I was very pleased with the shots that he did show me and I tell ya, I can't wait to get the disc to see the final product!!!
Next change, yes in the back seat of a car, small tight space, I have been in smaller spaces... Super hot and super cold. It's all part of the process and you gotta be quick. Never want to waste time. Next outfit, short khaki shorts, high wedge brown sandals, brown tank, brown pin striped blazer with a lil patch on the side chest like a harry potter or prep school jacket. Never would have put it together and it was so cute!! We were at a dead end where there was metal strips that were red and white striped to show it was a dead end and on the other side was a field. Again, awesome photos. I look so tall, but I guess because my legs are so long looking. It sucked that it was chilly and I had on this little shorts and sandals, but again, you do what you got to do and pretend it is 75 degrees and sunny. Mind over matter. If you can't do it you will never make it in the industry. And honestly, it could have been way colder than it was but it just wasn't. So that made it a lil easier... Just wait until you see these shots!!!!! A serious portfolio upgrade!!
Next stop around the corner, some type of company, not sure what they do and can't remember the name. Their building was outlined in a royal blue and had some glass squared looking windows that only reflect and you can't see in, but we utilized the wall and then that part of the building in the background. Skinny jeans, white tank, blue frilly peep toe heels that I had bought myself for my birthday the first year I was here for the blue and white party. Too cute! One of my fav pairs of shoes and I only wore them once. I should have got the red ones too. I paid a nice penny for them compared to what I usually pay for pumps, but hey, sometimes a girl wants a pair of pumps so bad she gotta have em. I got my eye on some suede royal purple ones. They will be in the wardrobe soon!!!
Now for the last look. My what I like to call "Barbie dress" I havn't been able to fit this dress in years and it is still cute. This is also how I know my weight has really gone down. It is a black fitted a-lind dress with a wide pink neck line and bow at the side of the neck and then a wide pink waist that goes all the way around. Not a belt though. We drove to a place that had these glass looking cubes that made a wall that was like an enclosure. Neat is all I can say. Wore it with black pumps because I feel the pink heels I have, none of the shades came close enough. I felt like a lil girl and I know my mom will be excited about some of these pics. She is a huge barbie fan, especially the vintage barbie and this is something like what the barbie in her day would have worn. I will definitely be getting some of those pics to her. He showed me some of them and they were "cute"
When that was done we were all done and there was more high fives!!! He said I rocked this shoot and I know I can't wait to see what all the pics look like. I just hope that Ford Models NYC will be as impressed as he was. Not really sure how it works when these companies get suggestions from scouts. But we shall see!!! So all in all I felt really great about the shoot and he made me feel better about it as much feed back as he was giving. It did a lot for my model confidence in that I was easy to work with and took direction well and he was so excited about it. I just pray that this is God's plan for me, well, one of them anyway :)
So I was pretty tired after it was all said and done and as you can imagine when I got home... it was bedtime. A nap was way overdue. I had been up since 5am!!! I will tell you that this is the simplest shoot that I have done. Everything was all natural, no jewelry, no accessories, and all I had to do was take direction. I didn't even have to pick the outfits!! I loved it!! Stay tuned for pics and updates! I will have my disc around the end of October!!! You won't want to miss this portfolio update!
I am so blessed to have received such a great opportunity. Too bad I accidentally took the photographer's hat when I grabbed my clothes out of the car. But not to worry!!! I texted him and let him know and he sent me an address to send it back. Nothing like losing or misplacing your favorite accessory, like a hat or watch or pair of shoes... fav shirt... ya know. I promise Marc, it will be in the mail soon!!! LOL!!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
A Wild Ride!!!!
First of all I must say it seems like I have way too much going on and with every blessing there seems to be a curse or downfall. Mental health is tricky...lol If anyone sits there and tells you that there is a magical medication that will help them forever and they don't ever have to have counseling or any other intervention, they are not being real about it. I learned from talking to my therapist this past Monday that even though you may feel great a lot of the time that sometimes there is a day where your body has a "relapse" per say. Like a diabetic can still get sick even if they are on meds and have a bad day. A person with heart problems that is on heart medication can have a lapse. Mental health is no different. That made me feel a lot better. I tell people I am great and I am happy but... there are a few days out of the year where I just don't have a good day. This is completely normal and that makes me feel confident. Our session basically laid down what I need to work on and how we are going to develop coping skills for things that I have trouble with. I never claimed to be completely cured of mental health as I go out in the community and advocate. Let's just say I got a few wrinkles :)
On the up and up I am excited about the next couple of busy weeks for me. This weekend I will be in Bloomingdale to get fitted for the Live Out Loud Charity fashion show that will take place on October the 2nd. I couldn't be more pleased to be involved with this as it is a charity dedicated to depression and suicide awareness. I will be walking as a model and a title holder so I get to showcase my talents twice! Awesome huh? I also get to share my story with what will probably be my biggest crowd so far with an expected attendance of over 500 people. This will be an amazing but emotional event. For more information please visit http://www.tiaramag.net/. My photos are on there along with information on the show and the other models and titleholders taking part in it. I can't wait to see what they pick out for me to wear! I love doing fashion shows. To top it off I have lost about 13 pounds so I will be happier that I probably get to go down a couple sizes on the clothes they pick :)
Sunday is going to be very interesting. I will be traveling 180 miles in the opposite direction over to Des Moines, IA to test shoot with a model scout photographer for Ford Models NYC. I am truely excited about this opportunity and quite nervous at the same time. I am still trying to decide what outfits I will wear and will be curious as to how he captures my looks. It's always fun working with a new photographer. The last photographer I worked with in Des Moines was Dan Davis. Simply amazing and took one of my most favorite pictures I have in my portfolio. It was like he captured me in a dream. Loved it!! So I am really excited as to how these photos will turn out and what this scout thinks of my photos. This test shoot is definitely a big deal and maybe, just maybe something will happen for me. (fingers crossed, prayers going up) I feel like I have a great portfolio and am looking forward to updating it with even more awesome pics!! I would love to be a print commercial model. (my dream)
Next weekend is the NAMI walk. (National Alliance for Mental Illnesses) Bright and early I will be headed out to Schweibert Park in Rock Island in support of the cause. This may be too big of an event for my snoopy. He did well with the MJL walk but we were just in the hundreds. This crowd is expected to be much bigger and not sure how he will react to some of the entertainment. Clowns may not be his thing and I completely understand that. Plus I will be busy walking around mingling with the crowd. That same day after the walk I will be headed to Addison for rehearsals that night and then up at 5am for the show next day. Talk about your busy Ms. Iowa on the go!! But it will be all for great causes. You don't even want to konw what my following week looks like, LOL!!!
Amongst all of this, we come to the insomnia. You may remember in a previous blog that my doc took me off my trazodone because of the groggyness and the weight gain and me just sleeping my life away. I knew it was time for a change. Unfortunately, it is trial and error again. I was prescribed Ambien to take for my anxiety at night. No luck on half or a whole pill. I was up at 3 am every night. I gave it from that wednesday until the weekend. The doc is not in on Mondays and Tuesdays so I have to wait until Wednesday when she comes in. She calls in another prescription. Klonopin. Same deal. Up every night at 3am toss turn, fidgeting, moving around, silly looks from the dog. My dog usually sleeps right next to me even though we are on a queen sized bed. I like the comfort and I steal his heat, hee hee. He is my lil fur child and he has been very upset with me these past few weeks. All this week, 2am, 3am, 4am. I get the look like "what is your problem? A pooch is tryin to sleep!!" I wish I had taken photos these past few nights. I missed the docs call yesterday so today we are going to try something else. Xanex. I guess it is that bad, but I am to start off with a half pill. You gotta wonder sometimes how I hold my composure and keep it all together. God, family, and good ol Cymbalta that picks me up so I feel great all day.
Mental health is never easy. It's not all in your head and you can't just snap out of it. Even with all the positive things going in my life right now in the next couple of days and months I still struggle at times and that is normal. Never give up on hope. There is always hope. Sometimes it is a matter of finding the right combination of meds, the right therapist, the right enviornment, or the right routine and positive people to surround yourself with. If I can do it, you can too :)
On the up and up I am excited about the next couple of busy weeks for me. This weekend I will be in Bloomingdale to get fitted for the Live Out Loud Charity fashion show that will take place on October the 2nd. I couldn't be more pleased to be involved with this as it is a charity dedicated to depression and suicide awareness. I will be walking as a model and a title holder so I get to showcase my talents twice! Awesome huh? I also get to share my story with what will probably be my biggest crowd so far with an expected attendance of over 500 people. This will be an amazing but emotional event. For more information please visit http://www.tiaramag.net/. My photos are on there along with information on the show and the other models and titleholders taking part in it. I can't wait to see what they pick out for me to wear! I love doing fashion shows. To top it off I have lost about 13 pounds so I will be happier that I probably get to go down a couple sizes on the clothes they pick :)
Sunday is going to be very interesting. I will be traveling 180 miles in the opposite direction over to Des Moines, IA to test shoot with a model scout photographer for Ford Models NYC. I am truely excited about this opportunity and quite nervous at the same time. I am still trying to decide what outfits I will wear and will be curious as to how he captures my looks. It's always fun working with a new photographer. The last photographer I worked with in Des Moines was Dan Davis. Simply amazing and took one of my most favorite pictures I have in my portfolio. It was like he captured me in a dream. Loved it!! So I am really excited as to how these photos will turn out and what this scout thinks of my photos. This test shoot is definitely a big deal and maybe, just maybe something will happen for me. (fingers crossed, prayers going up) I feel like I have a great portfolio and am looking forward to updating it with even more awesome pics!! I would love to be a print commercial model. (my dream)
Next weekend is the NAMI walk. (National Alliance for Mental Illnesses) Bright and early I will be headed out to Schweibert Park in Rock Island in support of the cause. This may be too big of an event for my snoopy. He did well with the MJL walk but we were just in the hundreds. This crowd is expected to be much bigger and not sure how he will react to some of the entertainment. Clowns may not be his thing and I completely understand that. Plus I will be busy walking around mingling with the crowd. That same day after the walk I will be headed to Addison for rehearsals that night and then up at 5am for the show next day. Talk about your busy Ms. Iowa on the go!! But it will be all for great causes. You don't even want to konw what my following week looks like, LOL!!!
Amongst all of this, we come to the insomnia. You may remember in a previous blog that my doc took me off my trazodone because of the groggyness and the weight gain and me just sleeping my life away. I knew it was time for a change. Unfortunately, it is trial and error again. I was prescribed Ambien to take for my anxiety at night. No luck on half or a whole pill. I was up at 3 am every night. I gave it from that wednesday until the weekend. The doc is not in on Mondays and Tuesdays so I have to wait until Wednesday when she comes in. She calls in another prescription. Klonopin. Same deal. Up every night at 3am toss turn, fidgeting, moving around, silly looks from the dog. My dog usually sleeps right next to me even though we are on a queen sized bed. I like the comfort and I steal his heat, hee hee. He is my lil fur child and he has been very upset with me these past few weeks. All this week, 2am, 3am, 4am. I get the look like "what is your problem? A pooch is tryin to sleep!!" I wish I had taken photos these past few nights. I missed the docs call yesterday so today we are going to try something else. Xanex. I guess it is that bad, but I am to start off with a half pill. You gotta wonder sometimes how I hold my composure and keep it all together. God, family, and good ol Cymbalta that picks me up so I feel great all day.
Mental health is never easy. It's not all in your head and you can't just snap out of it. Even with all the positive things going in my life right now in the next couple of days and months I still struggle at times and that is normal. Never give up on hope. There is always hope. Sometimes it is a matter of finding the right combination of meds, the right therapist, the right enviornment, or the right routine and positive people to surround yourself with. If I can do it, you can too :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
MJL 5th Annual Walk for Hope
Gosh, where do I start? This day will definitely be one of the days in my life that I will never forget. On the morning of September 17, 2011 hundreds of people came together for one cause, and that cause being for the awareness and support of Depression and Suicide Awareness. I have never felt so much love and togetherness in one place and it felt great! Molly Lincoln would/is so lucky and proud to have loved ones that are so passionate about her life that they have put her memory to a good cause for a community that has lost so many and that deals with a disease that society has created this stigma that frowns upon Mental illnesses.
I arrived with my dog snoopy and his "walk for hope" bandana geared up ready to walk for a cause. We got there at around 7:45 or so and people were slowly starting to trickle in. Before I knew it the whole auditorium building was full of people everywhere. Some people had shirts that were in the memory of their loved one they had lost to suicide. Others were just putting the names and years they lost their loved ones on a walker bib that they pinned to their clothing to show as they walked. To my shock, there were some youth that had 3 names on the back of their shirts and bibs. I couldn't believe it. If you don't think suicide is real, it is, and the mental health stigma is not a joke. It has really hit hard in this area. Iowa and Quad Cities, wake up!!! Talk about it! Get help! You are not alone and you don't have to be ashamed!! It can happen to anybody and everyone deals with life and trajedies in a different way. The best advice I was ever given from a mental health professional was that the more people I share my story with and how I am feeling, the better I will feel. Of course, at the time, I was severely depressed, embarrassed, and knew that if I told anyone they would think I was a nut job and that I was crazy. It's okay to feel that way in the beginning, you share when you feel the time is right. I chose to go public when I accepted the title of Ms. Iowa American Coed 2011. It was time.
As I stood up to grab the mic to speak, I can honestly say I was quite nervous for the first few seconds. This was the largest crowd I had ever stood in front of to share my story and how I got to Iowa. I was proud of the fact that I was able to hold back my tears. I was happy but I was also sad because of all the grief everyone had experienced due to suicide and depression and the fact that my family could have been in their positions. I let everyone know that I was no longer ashamed and that I do still struggle at times and even still currently treat and have found hope in the Vera French Foundation. A beauty queen such as myself can be depressed too, and like I said, it can happen to anybody. What really warmed my heart was the applause when I was able to present MJL with the money I had raised with the help of my law firm in the amount of $90. That felt good. I know it wasn't much but it made a difference in that we at the firm shared in our part of helping fund such a great cause and even I know that every little bit counts!! They were surprised and I loved it because I purposely didn't tell them. They have been there for me in more ways than anyone would know. The contacts they have helped me to build to get help for myself and to do work for other people has been amazing and I will definitely come back next year. Maybe I can come back with a national title and speak on what I have been able to accomplish for mental health on a national level. My goal, share my story, get people to talk, break the stigma.
I appreciated all the response I got from everyone who came up and spoke to me. The words of encouragement, the welcoming to their home state, it means more than anyone will ever know. As a transplant trying to get out in the community with a country accent and an Iowa title is not the easiest thing, LOL!!! My dog Snoopy, well I was kind of nervous how he would react to so many people being around him. He usually pulls back from large crowds because of his past of being abused/neglected as a puppy. He was loving all the attention with the treats and belly rubs and petting. I think he knew that everyone there was there because they needed to heal. I think he did his part and I am so proud of my lil fur child, lol. We made it through all 3 miles and at the end he was more than ready to get some food and sit down. I loved the response of everyone that came to my table wanting autographed photos and words of kindness. It meant and means a lot!! One girl told me that I could write about how awesome she was in my blog when I mentioned they could take a card to follow. Sorry I am bad with names, and yes honey, you are awesome!!! You came out for a great cause and your loved one would be so proud that you took part in an event to celebrate their memory!!!
Thank you MJL Foundation (Betsy, Michelle, and Jennifer) and Thank you Vera French! I am so happy to have found you and you have made a big difference in my life here in Iowa. I will continue in my journey in this fight against the mental health stigma and reach out to my community beyond the title even if I don't win the national title. This is me and always will be and nothing will change my past and what I have been through.
My next step, to walk in memory of my daddy Walter "Hubert Jr." Snodgrass at the Quad Cities Light the Night Walk 2011. If anyone would like to donate or join me on my walk team for Team Hubert Jr. Please visit
http://pages.lightthenight.org/ia/QuadCiti11/TeamHubertJr I am the Quads Cities Honorary Walk Chair and this walk will take place on October 14th 2011 at Modern Woodman Park. Lots of fun activities and things to do before the walk starts for all ages!
Thank you!!
Monica Lacovitch
Ms. Iowa American Coed 2011 http://www.gocoed.com/ and vote for me for people's choice! :)
I arrived with my dog snoopy and his "walk for hope" bandana geared up ready to walk for a cause. We got there at around 7:45 or so and people were slowly starting to trickle in. Before I knew it the whole auditorium building was full of people everywhere. Some people had shirts that were in the memory of their loved one they had lost to suicide. Others were just putting the names and years they lost their loved ones on a walker bib that they pinned to their clothing to show as they walked. To my shock, there were some youth that had 3 names on the back of their shirts and bibs. I couldn't believe it. If you don't think suicide is real, it is, and the mental health stigma is not a joke. It has really hit hard in this area. Iowa and Quad Cities, wake up!!! Talk about it! Get help! You are not alone and you don't have to be ashamed!! It can happen to anybody and everyone deals with life and trajedies in a different way. The best advice I was ever given from a mental health professional was that the more people I share my story with and how I am feeling, the better I will feel. Of course, at the time, I was severely depressed, embarrassed, and knew that if I told anyone they would think I was a nut job and that I was crazy. It's okay to feel that way in the beginning, you share when you feel the time is right. I chose to go public when I accepted the title of Ms. Iowa American Coed 2011. It was time.
As I stood up to grab the mic to speak, I can honestly say I was quite nervous for the first few seconds. This was the largest crowd I had ever stood in front of to share my story and how I got to Iowa. I was proud of the fact that I was able to hold back my tears. I was happy but I was also sad because of all the grief everyone had experienced due to suicide and depression and the fact that my family could have been in their positions. I let everyone know that I was no longer ashamed and that I do still struggle at times and even still currently treat and have found hope in the Vera French Foundation. A beauty queen such as myself can be depressed too, and like I said, it can happen to anybody. What really warmed my heart was the applause when I was able to present MJL with the money I had raised with the help of my law firm in the amount of $90. That felt good. I know it wasn't much but it made a difference in that we at the firm shared in our part of helping fund such a great cause and even I know that every little bit counts!! They were surprised and I loved it because I purposely didn't tell them. They have been there for me in more ways than anyone would know. The contacts they have helped me to build to get help for myself and to do work for other people has been amazing and I will definitely come back next year. Maybe I can come back with a national title and speak on what I have been able to accomplish for mental health on a national level. My goal, share my story, get people to talk, break the stigma.
I appreciated all the response I got from everyone who came up and spoke to me. The words of encouragement, the welcoming to their home state, it means more than anyone will ever know. As a transplant trying to get out in the community with a country accent and an Iowa title is not the easiest thing, LOL!!! My dog Snoopy, well I was kind of nervous how he would react to so many people being around him. He usually pulls back from large crowds because of his past of being abused/neglected as a puppy. He was loving all the attention with the treats and belly rubs and petting. I think he knew that everyone there was there because they needed to heal. I think he did his part and I am so proud of my lil fur child, lol. We made it through all 3 miles and at the end he was more than ready to get some food and sit down. I loved the response of everyone that came to my table wanting autographed photos and words of kindness. It meant and means a lot!! One girl told me that I could write about how awesome she was in my blog when I mentioned they could take a card to follow. Sorry I am bad with names, and yes honey, you are awesome!!! You came out for a great cause and your loved one would be so proud that you took part in an event to celebrate their memory!!!
Thank you MJL Foundation (Betsy, Michelle, and Jennifer) and Thank you Vera French! I am so happy to have found you and you have made a big difference in my life here in Iowa. I will continue in my journey in this fight against the mental health stigma and reach out to my community beyond the title even if I don't win the national title. This is me and always will be and nothing will change my past and what I have been through.
My next step, to walk in memory of my daddy Walter "Hubert Jr." Snodgrass at the Quad Cities Light the Night Walk 2011. If anyone would like to donate or join me on my walk team for Team Hubert Jr. Please visit
http://pages.lightthenight.org/ia/QuadCiti11/TeamHubertJr I am the Quads Cities Honorary Walk Chair and this walk will take place on October 14th 2011 at Modern Woodman Park. Lots of fun activities and things to do before the walk starts for all ages!
Thank you!!
Monica Lacovitch
Ms. Iowa American Coed 2011 http://www.gocoed.com/ and vote for me for people's choice! :)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Gone But Not Forgotten
It's so crazy how my weeks can go up and down, up and down. I mean, emotionally, or something that just happens and you are like "whoa!!" This week was one of those weeks. There was a reason why me and my aunt Daphne were on skype together on Monday night. We talk a lot on the phone and on skype and I love her so much and it really makes being away from her and my other family so much easier. She got the call while she was on skype with me and she walks away and says very little. She comes back teary eyed. I am shaking my head "no" She said "his breathing has changed, it is just a matter of time" I knew she was talking about our Uncle Marion. "Girl" as me and my cousin would joke around with him. It just brought me to the flashback of when we were all together for his 80th birthday party a few years ago. Everything was great and we were celebrating together as a family. He was surprised! He had that smile as he walked in and sits down slightly crossing his legs. The way uncle Marion sits and smiles. That is what I remembered.
We go on talking trying not to cry because it hadn't happened yet, but we knew he probably wouldn't make it through the night. She continues to call others in the family as I sit there with her. I was so glad that I was not the one receiving the call this time, but the one getting the information first hand. Nothing hits the pit of your stomach worse then when you get "the call" Not even 30 to 45 minutes later my aunt melissa calls her. She starts to cry harder and I start to cry. I don't know why, but my Aunt Melissa is always the one who calls to tell somebody that someone is gone. I remember getting the call from her late night saying that my dad was gone and I should probably go and find my mom. I hated her for it but you can't kill the messenger. It is just a fact of life and someone has to be the bearer of bad news.
The crazy thing is, this wasn't a deal where he was sick for months. He was only diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few weeks ago. Then it was all downhill from there. Hospice had been called in to assist. You know it is bad when they call Hospice in. My aunt told me that he didn't fight or anything and he knew that he was ready to go. That is understandable. Now he can be with his wife. That is what makes me smile. He does not have to be alone anymore and he does not have to suffer. It's really hard to type that out.
It will never be the same visiting home and not seeing him out on the porch coming around the corner when visiting good ol Garrard County. I will miss his talk of strategies about winning the lottery and how he may have a pattern figured out for his numbers to come in. Driving around town in his big ol truck. That was good ol Uncle Marion. I am heartbroken I don't get to say goodbye. But that is one of those things where you have to deal with what comes at you when you don't live close by and you don't have the time off work to take or the money to just pick up and go. Today was the visitation. Tomorrow he will join his nephew/my dad and his wife/my grandmother's sister at Camp Nelson National Cemetary for Veterans.
I love you Uncle Marion and you will never be forgotten. I will pray for the healing of the broken hearts and the missing feeling that will be a long time felt in those that were close to him. To my family, I love you and I miss you and I wish I could be there for everyone to share in this time of hardship. It seems that anymore these are the times when everyone comes together and I can't help but think that last time was when Daddy had passed. Hugs and prayers, Cousin Monike, Cousin Elaine, Cousin Wayne, and Cousin Ronnie. I love you all. Your dad will be forever missed but not forgotten...
We go on talking trying not to cry because it hadn't happened yet, but we knew he probably wouldn't make it through the night. She continues to call others in the family as I sit there with her. I was so glad that I was not the one receiving the call this time, but the one getting the information first hand. Nothing hits the pit of your stomach worse then when you get "the call" Not even 30 to 45 minutes later my aunt melissa calls her. She starts to cry harder and I start to cry. I don't know why, but my Aunt Melissa is always the one who calls to tell somebody that someone is gone. I remember getting the call from her late night saying that my dad was gone and I should probably go and find my mom. I hated her for it but you can't kill the messenger. It is just a fact of life and someone has to be the bearer of bad news.
The crazy thing is, this wasn't a deal where he was sick for months. He was only diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few weeks ago. Then it was all downhill from there. Hospice had been called in to assist. You know it is bad when they call Hospice in. My aunt told me that he didn't fight or anything and he knew that he was ready to go. That is understandable. Now he can be with his wife. That is what makes me smile. He does not have to be alone anymore and he does not have to suffer. It's really hard to type that out.
It will never be the same visiting home and not seeing him out on the porch coming around the corner when visiting good ol Garrard County. I will miss his talk of strategies about winning the lottery and how he may have a pattern figured out for his numbers to come in. Driving around town in his big ol truck. That was good ol Uncle Marion. I am heartbroken I don't get to say goodbye. But that is one of those things where you have to deal with what comes at you when you don't live close by and you don't have the time off work to take or the money to just pick up and go. Today was the visitation. Tomorrow he will join his nephew/my dad and his wife/my grandmother's sister at Camp Nelson National Cemetary for Veterans.
I love you Uncle Marion and you will never be forgotten. I will pray for the healing of the broken hearts and the missing feeling that will be a long time felt in those that were close to him. To my family, I love you and I miss you and I wish I could be there for everyone to share in this time of hardship. It seems that anymore these are the times when everyone comes together and I can't help but think that last time was when Daddy had passed. Hugs and prayers, Cousin Monike, Cousin Elaine, Cousin Wayne, and Cousin Ronnie. I love you all. Your dad will be forever missed but not forgotten...
Friday, September 9, 2011
I was Here
I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that
Meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world,
I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember,
So they won't forget
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
I want to say I lived each day,
Until I die
And know that I meant something in somebody's life
The hearts I have touched,
Will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference
And this world will see[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/beyonce/i_was_here.html ]
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
I just want them to know
That I gave my all,
Did my best
Brought someone some happiness
Left this world a little better just because...
I was here...
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
(I lived, I loved)
(I did, I've done)
(I lived, I loved)
(I did, I've done)
I was here...
Know there was something that
Meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world,
I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember,
So they won't forget
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
I want to say I lived each day,
Until I die
And know that I meant something in somebody's life
The hearts I have touched,
Will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference
And this world will see[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/beyonce/i_was_here.html ]
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
I just want them to know
That I gave my all,
Did my best
Brought someone some happiness
Left this world a little better just because...
I was here...
I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...
(I lived, I loved)
(I did, I've done)
(I lived, I loved)
(I did, I've done)
I was here...
Beyonce
I just want to say that I am totally feeling Beyonce on this song. This song makes me feel the feelings that I have not been able to put into words about what I want to accomplish in life. When I leave this world I want to leave my mark in a positive way that people will remember me by. Whether it was the friend that always made them smile, the country girl who was full of laughter and positiveness, or constantly working for a good cause in a way that nobody else has. I want my family to be proud of me and I don't want to look back with any regrets or say that I should have did or said this or that. Life is too short to live in regret. The only thing you can do is live each day to make it better than the last. Like I said, I made my bucket list and there are a lot of things I want to accomplish. There are things that I have accomplished, want to accomplish, and things that I probably not even thought of yet.
At times it seems so selfish to just live for yourself and say that nothing else matters. If you are going to live for someone besides yourself, live for your mom, dad, kids, or for the people that don't know that they need you yet. Everyone in this world has a purpose. I truly believe that. I feel that certain people and certain things/events come into your life for you to learn and use for the greater good. There is nothing in my life that I would change. The bad or the good (of course). I wouldn't have been the places I have been or met the people I have met or experienced the things that I have experienced without any of the events or people in my life. That is a FACT.
I believe my true calling is to help people. I want to touch the lives of people living with mental illnesses and make them feel like they can talk about it and that it is a disease like any other. I want to help break the stigma. There was a reason I lost my dad to Leukemia. I want to raise money for them to continue their research. I feel like this is my calling. I want to direct pageants, I want to make people feel good about themselves and their accomplishments and help them get to the next level, just as pageants have done for me :)
Who will you inspire? How will you leave your mark? What do you feel is your calling?
Friday, September 2, 2011
Feelin Good... Feelin Great!!!
I feel the need to blog right now because I feel fantastic, besides my left middle finger, and things are going just great!!! Monday started off crappy for the week, Tuesday was so-so, Wednesday was the madness dealing with docs and such with my abnormal finger situation, Thursday was good getting the car door handle replaced and today, well I feel good and we are exactly 2 weeks from the MJL Foundation for Suicide and Depression "walk for hope" walk!!! It almost doesn't get any better.
For those wondering about the whole finger thing. It is kind of weird situation. Back in March when I was competing for World's Glamorous Miss and America's U.S. Beauties... I was one of those people that didn't want to make more than one trip to the car. So I thought I had it all under control. I had my pink rolling luggage case, the pink travel case, my dress, and my portable dress steamer, plus my purse!!! well I think I may have pinched a nerve in the process because my whole middle finger was numb for a while like a week or 2. I got the feeling back in it and there has not been any pain up until about a month ago. My finger started to swell really bad on and off with quite a bit of pain and it was really bulged at the knuckle. I kept telling myself, oh it will go away and I can manage this pain with some alleve. Well, much to my dismay, I wake up this past wednesday, my finger looked like a frickin sausage and it hurt too bad to even move it. Imagine me getting ready for work with one hand... yea... and I bumped it on the way into work trying to open the door. O UH MMM GEEEE!!!!!!!!!! LOL! So after consulting with co-workers on this they suggest I go to Trinity walk in which I did right away. The doc sends me over to the hospital for x-rays. Nothing shows up as far as a fracture or a break. Now I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. I hope they can tell me something!!! But I got some good pain meds that are helping. Still sore, but now I am walking around with this splint that looks like I am giving everyone the finger. SWEEEEEEETTT!!! lol (not)
So let's back track to Friday. I go to Vera French to see a new doctor about my anxiety and depression meds. From consulting with her, I realize that it is not the Cymbalta I am unhappy with but the trazodone. So she upps my cymbalta to 90 mg and replaces the trazodone with Ambien. Now call me crazy, but I was kind of thinking, do you treat anxiety with sleep meds? I am no doc so I didn't question too much on it. I was focused on getting more energy in my life so I could get some things done and not sleeping all the time. I feel like I have slept my life away!!! Not to mention the 20 lb weight gain AND not being able to get up in the morning, thus making me late for work EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!! Only by about 5-10 minutes, but late is late. She tells me to take half a pill. Friday night I do. I wake up at 3am like HELLO WORLD!! The dog was not thrilled. He looked at me like "if you don't quit moving around and talking so I can sleep over here!" Sorry Snoopy... Ok, fine, we will go up to a full tab, which she said I could do. The same deal. And I had appearances all weekend. ARE U FRICKIN KIDDING ME!!!!!! So I take a full pill again Sunday night. Same thing. Monday I am on edge, my anxiety is through the roof and the doc is out until Wednesday. So in order for me to get any rest I had to take the trazodone. Wednesday I am draggin. But I do get a call from my doc and she calls in a different anti-anxiety. SUPER! Why do I go to wal-mart to pick up that and the pain meds I was prescribed and the doc forgot to leave her ID number to fill the prescription. They call the doc on call and she would not give an ID number to verify because she was not "familiar with the patient or the chart" FOR CRYIIN OUT LOUD! YOUR COLLEAGUE WROTE THE PRESCRIPTION!!! So wal-mart wouldn't fill it according to some federal law even though the same doc wrote the ambien and they wouldn't use it from that. And Wal-Mart does not even call and tell me when they know this information. I am picking up meds 30 minutes before the pharmacy closes. The meds were called in around 5:30. Seriously, where is the customer service!!! "Ms. Lacovitch I am terribly sorry, we have a note to call first thing in the morning." I told the girl I thought it was dumb the on call doc (which by the way I had to suggest they call) was not acting very well as an on call and it kind of defeated the purpose in my situation. I also told her I thought it was crap I was just now being notified of the situation when you have my contact number and this is for an anti-anxiety medication which most people who take them need very much. So I left and I got my meds the next day. I take my half pill of the new meds and I FEEEL SUPER!!!!
I woke up today at 6:45 feeling like a new me! I had energy, I felt well rested, and I just felt motivated! I didn't even use the snooze! I even went to bed at like 10:30/10:45ish. I hope this is a new start. Maybe I can get up and walk the dog before work! Then snoopy can shed off some of those poochy pounds too and he will enjoy it. I just feel like this is the beginning to a new more motivated energetic me. I know I do a lot in the community, but I know I could be doing more appearances if I had just felt better and wasn't in the bed sleep all the time. This week I had actually started watching strictly what I eat and as of wednesday I had lost 6lbs! I have not weighed myself since then when I was at the doc, but I hope to have gone down a couple more pounds by the weekend. I mean, I don't think I am fat by any means, but I know I have a more healthier weight that I am used to that is normal. Afterall, I do want to look and feel my best for nationals which is 3 months away!!!
Another thing to be excited about is the MJL Foundation walk which is now only 2 weeks away today!! Maybe I will be down a total of 10-15 lbs by then! I am looking forward to meeting the community and doing what I do best, share my story and touch the lives of the people that are there. You never know who you will inspire... There is still time to register!! If you don't want to walk you can still come out and show your support www.mjlfoundation.org I will be there, my pooch will be there. Fun times with MJL and Ms. Iowa American Coed!! And I will be speaking before the walk. Stay tuned for my appearance with MJL Foundation next week regarding the walk!!! You won't want to miss it!!!
For those wondering about the whole finger thing. It is kind of weird situation. Back in March when I was competing for World's Glamorous Miss and America's U.S. Beauties... I was one of those people that didn't want to make more than one trip to the car. So I thought I had it all under control. I had my pink rolling luggage case, the pink travel case, my dress, and my portable dress steamer, plus my purse!!! well I think I may have pinched a nerve in the process because my whole middle finger was numb for a while like a week or 2. I got the feeling back in it and there has not been any pain up until about a month ago. My finger started to swell really bad on and off with quite a bit of pain and it was really bulged at the knuckle. I kept telling myself, oh it will go away and I can manage this pain with some alleve. Well, much to my dismay, I wake up this past wednesday, my finger looked like a frickin sausage and it hurt too bad to even move it. Imagine me getting ready for work with one hand... yea... and I bumped it on the way into work trying to open the door. O UH MMM GEEEE!!!!!!!!!! LOL! So after consulting with co-workers on this they suggest I go to Trinity walk in which I did right away. The doc sends me over to the hospital for x-rays. Nothing shows up as far as a fracture or a break. Now I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. I hope they can tell me something!!! But I got some good pain meds that are helping. Still sore, but now I am walking around with this splint that looks like I am giving everyone the finger. SWEEEEEEETTT!!! lol (not)
So let's back track to Friday. I go to Vera French to see a new doctor about my anxiety and depression meds. From consulting with her, I realize that it is not the Cymbalta I am unhappy with but the trazodone. So she upps my cymbalta to 90 mg and replaces the trazodone with Ambien. Now call me crazy, but I was kind of thinking, do you treat anxiety with sleep meds? I am no doc so I didn't question too much on it. I was focused on getting more energy in my life so I could get some things done and not sleeping all the time. I feel like I have slept my life away!!! Not to mention the 20 lb weight gain AND not being able to get up in the morning, thus making me late for work EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!! Only by about 5-10 minutes, but late is late. She tells me to take half a pill. Friday night I do. I wake up at 3am like HELLO WORLD!! The dog was not thrilled. He looked at me like "if you don't quit moving around and talking so I can sleep over here!" Sorry Snoopy... Ok, fine, we will go up to a full tab, which she said I could do. The same deal. And I had appearances all weekend. ARE U FRICKIN KIDDING ME!!!!!! So I take a full pill again Sunday night. Same thing. Monday I am on edge, my anxiety is through the roof and the doc is out until Wednesday. So in order for me to get any rest I had to take the trazodone. Wednesday I am draggin. But I do get a call from my doc and she calls in a different anti-anxiety. SUPER! Why do I go to wal-mart to pick up that and the pain meds I was prescribed and the doc forgot to leave her ID number to fill the prescription. They call the doc on call and she would not give an ID number to verify because she was not "familiar with the patient or the chart" FOR CRYIIN OUT LOUD! YOUR COLLEAGUE WROTE THE PRESCRIPTION!!! So wal-mart wouldn't fill it according to some federal law even though the same doc wrote the ambien and they wouldn't use it from that. And Wal-Mart does not even call and tell me when they know this information. I am picking up meds 30 minutes before the pharmacy closes. The meds were called in around 5:30. Seriously, where is the customer service!!! "Ms. Lacovitch I am terribly sorry, we have a note to call first thing in the morning." I told the girl I thought it was dumb the on call doc (which by the way I had to suggest they call) was not acting very well as an on call and it kind of defeated the purpose in my situation. I also told her I thought it was crap I was just now being notified of the situation when you have my contact number and this is for an anti-anxiety medication which most people who take them need very much. So I left and I got my meds the next day. I take my half pill of the new meds and I FEEEL SUPER!!!!
I woke up today at 6:45 feeling like a new me! I had energy, I felt well rested, and I just felt motivated! I didn't even use the snooze! I even went to bed at like 10:30/10:45ish. I hope this is a new start. Maybe I can get up and walk the dog before work! Then snoopy can shed off some of those poochy pounds too and he will enjoy it. I just feel like this is the beginning to a new more motivated energetic me. I know I do a lot in the community, but I know I could be doing more appearances if I had just felt better and wasn't in the bed sleep all the time. This week I had actually started watching strictly what I eat and as of wednesday I had lost 6lbs! I have not weighed myself since then when I was at the doc, but I hope to have gone down a couple more pounds by the weekend. I mean, I don't think I am fat by any means, but I know I have a more healthier weight that I am used to that is normal. Afterall, I do want to look and feel my best for nationals which is 3 months away!!!
Another thing to be excited about is the MJL Foundation walk which is now only 2 weeks away today!! Maybe I will be down a total of 10-15 lbs by then! I am looking forward to meeting the community and doing what I do best, share my story and touch the lives of the people that are there. You never know who you will inspire... There is still time to register!! If you don't want to walk you can still come out and show your support www.mjlfoundation.org I will be there, my pooch will be there. Fun times with MJL and Ms. Iowa American Coed!! And I will be speaking before the walk. Stay tuned for my appearance with MJL Foundation next week regarding the walk!!! You won't want to miss it!!!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illnesses)
Are you familiar with NAMI? Apparently I was not either and really wish I would have known about this organization sooner!! I learned of this organization through Jay Kidwell of Channel 4 News Sports. He was very impressed with my story and came and suggested that he put my name out there to the right people for an upcoming event the first week of October. Well, you know me, I just had to dig in and do some research. I wanted to know more! NAMI stands for National Alliance for Mental Illnesses and their whole focus, and my platform as well, is to help break this mental health stigma!! They too will be holding a walk soon on October 1, 2011 at the Schweibert Park in Rock Island, IL. I emailed the president of the local group and expressed my interest in getting involved with this organization because I too deal with mental illness and have been getting out in the community to share my story to try to help break this cycle of the stigma that society has created. I got a response back from the lady in charge of the walk and was invited to their board meeting last night in which I got to meet everyone who was on the board. An OUTSTANDING group... I am happy that I got 3 new appearances planned out of this group and I can't wait to do more!
So yes, I have double booked myself for a whole weekend, again! lol But this is all for a good cause that I am passionate about. There is no cost to register for the walk and the more the merrier!!! I am truly excited about the whole weekend. I will have the walk in the morning and then I will head to Addison, IL to make it in time for fashion show rehearsals for the Live Out Loud Charity Fashion Show for Suicide and Depression. Then Sunday is the fashion show!! WHOOO WEEEEE!!! lol
If you would like more information on NAMI or to register for the walk please visit http://www.nami.org/. For Davenport, Iowa the link is http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/LocalDetail.cfm&localID=0000000087&fromHL=no&state=IA
For Rock Island, Illinois the link is http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/LocalDetail.cfm&localID=0000000075&fromHL=no&state=IL
There will be plenty of exciting things going on at the walk from free food, to entertainment, and of course I will be there doing pics, autographs, etc. If you would like to make a difference in your area for Mental health just look on the main site and look up your local chapter. Get involved! Donate! Advocate! It is my hope that if I win the national title of Ms. American Coed I can travel and advocate on a national level.
To keep up with all my appearances on behalf of my platforms and other good causes throughout the community, please be sure to click "like" on my facebook page, "Monica Lacovitch, Ms. Iowa American Coed 2011" I still have required space available for advertising in the national program book, so if you would like to put an ad for your organization or business all ads and money are due by September 25, 2011. You can contact me at kyqueen4life@yahoo.com for more details on pricing and sizes.
So yes, I have double booked myself for a whole weekend, again! lol But this is all for a good cause that I am passionate about. There is no cost to register for the walk and the more the merrier!!! I am truly excited about the whole weekend. I will have the walk in the morning and then I will head to Addison, IL to make it in time for fashion show rehearsals for the Live Out Loud Charity Fashion Show for Suicide and Depression. Then Sunday is the fashion show!! WHOOO WEEEEE!!! lol
If you would like more information on NAMI or to register for the walk please visit http://www.nami.org/. For Davenport, Iowa the link is http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/LocalDetail.cfm&localID=0000000087&fromHL=no&state=IA
For Rock Island, Illinois the link is http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/LocalDetail.cfm&localID=0000000075&fromHL=no&state=IL
There will be plenty of exciting things going on at the walk from free food, to entertainment, and of course I will be there doing pics, autographs, etc. If you would like to make a difference in your area for Mental health just look on the main site and look up your local chapter. Get involved! Donate! Advocate! It is my hope that if I win the national title of Ms. American Coed I can travel and advocate on a national level.
To keep up with all my appearances on behalf of my platforms and other good causes throughout the community, please be sure to click "like" on my facebook page, "Monica Lacovitch, Ms. Iowa American Coed 2011" I still have required space available for advertising in the national program book, so if you would like to put an ad for your organization or business all ads and money are due by September 25, 2011. You can contact me at kyqueen4life@yahoo.com for more details on pricing and sizes.
Monday, August 29, 2011
What a Weekend!!!
Wow what a weekend!!! Well, for those of you that are wondering how the new meds are going. Let me just say with mental health or any illness, there is lots of experimentation to see what is right for you and what works and what does not. As I had mentioned earlier my Cymbalta was upped in dosage due to my lack of energy and the trazodone was taken away and replaced with Ambien. I was supposed to take half of a pill. I did that on Friday night. I went to bed around 11 and woke up at about 3am. WHY! WHY! WHY! and that is exactly what my dog was thinking. He looks over at me like "come on, a pooch is tryin to sleep over here." You could tell that he was super irritated because I kept moving around, tossing, turning, talking out loud, and he was just like SHUT UP! LOL!!!! I couldn't help but laugh. I love my dog and he makes life so much more comical with his personality. Ok, so half a pill probably needed to go to a full pill. I was tired and really wanted to sleep and I tried for the next several hours but it was not easy. I had a ball game to prepare for!!!
I want to say that Saturday Night with the Riverbandits was awesome!! I had lots of energy, as you can imagine, and we got a really good response from the community with the table that we had set up for the MJL Foundation for Depression and Suicide Awareness. I was in full crown and sash and the energy was great. Nobody told me it was country night!! lol It was funny to see and hear the staff try to imitate country. The one kid on staff even stated that he had been watching movies like Varsity Blues to get his accent for the night. Heck, if he would have just hung out with me for a lil bit he would have been talking with a twang in no time. LOL! I think the highlight of the night was the miniature monkeys riding on the backs of the border collies. It does not get any better than that as far as entertainment. My first pitch, well... it was not so great. My crown is too big and when I went to throw I felt the crown get ready to fall and I had to catch the crown before I was worried about where that ball was going to go. The ball went all lopsided and it did not make it to the plate this time. (Can we just have a replay of my last throw? lol) We got quite a bit of donations from people wanting the stuffed puppies that we had and that was good. The more money we can give to Vera French for the School based services the better. I had my last share of junk food for a while. Chili cheese fries, a strawberry smoothie, and cotton candy. It was yummy. Gosh I hope these next few months go by fast!!! Time to buckle down and get in gear for nationals!!!
Now this brings us to bedtime. Time to gear up bright and early for the First Annual Charity Golf Scramble for the Family Enrichment Center. This time I took a full dose of Ambien before I went to sleep. Again, I sleep until 3am and then it was tossing, turning, and stretching the rest of the night and maybe some sleep here and there. I was up and adam at 7 am. THIS IS SO WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS!!! I have come to the conclusion that this medication is not working. I thought Ambien was supposed to help you get a full night's rest?
Anyway, I arrive for the golf scramble. Perfect weather. Everyone was so nice! I even got a compliementary massage which I needed so very badly. With the anxiety comes muscle tension and this massage helped out tremendously! Thank you Family Enrichment Center!!!! We had a nice turnout. We had 9 teams and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I got to take pics with each of the teams at the first hole and chat it up with board members. The weather couldn't have been more perfect. Later on Jay Kidwell from Channel 4 Sports shows up. A really nice guy! He did the 18th hole challenge with a golfer from each of the teams as they came in. When it was time to announce winners and raffles Kevin Kullums, the director gave more insight on what the money was going towards. They are in the process of building a building that will be for education and daycare services and afterschool programs so that the children in this at-risk community will have a safe place to go with a positive enviornment. It feels good knowing that I was a part of helping to raise money for that. They plan on breaking ground this fall. I just may be in attendance for that ceremony!
Next Kevin introduced me and I talked about how I got to the quad cities and how I have been trying to get out in the community to help promote my platforms. I feel better and better each time I tell my story. Jay Kidwell came over and congratulated me and gave me some words of encouragement about my work in the community and wished me the best for nationals. It really made my day that reputable people in the community are supporting me in the things that I do. He told me about a benefit dinner for NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Health) that will take place in October and said he was sure they would love to have me. I love how when I do appearances that they turn into bookings for more appearances!
Well Monica, get ready for busy, busy projects ahead!!! It just keeps getting better and it's all for a good cause! I love it! So thank you Kevin, Thank you Kathy, thank you Jay and all of the board of Family Enrichment Center for having me for your event. If there is ever anything else I can help with just let me know!!! It was an honor!
I want to say that Saturday Night with the Riverbandits was awesome!! I had lots of energy, as you can imagine, and we got a really good response from the community with the table that we had set up for the MJL Foundation for Depression and Suicide Awareness. I was in full crown and sash and the energy was great. Nobody told me it was country night!! lol It was funny to see and hear the staff try to imitate country. The one kid on staff even stated that he had been watching movies like Varsity Blues to get his accent for the night. Heck, if he would have just hung out with me for a lil bit he would have been talking with a twang in no time. LOL! I think the highlight of the night was the miniature monkeys riding on the backs of the border collies. It does not get any better than that as far as entertainment. My first pitch, well... it was not so great. My crown is too big and when I went to throw I felt the crown get ready to fall and I had to catch the crown before I was worried about where that ball was going to go. The ball went all lopsided and it did not make it to the plate this time. (Can we just have a replay of my last throw? lol) We got quite a bit of donations from people wanting the stuffed puppies that we had and that was good. The more money we can give to Vera French for the School based services the better. I had my last share of junk food for a while. Chili cheese fries, a strawberry smoothie, and cotton candy. It was yummy. Gosh I hope these next few months go by fast!!! Time to buckle down and get in gear for nationals!!!
Now this brings us to bedtime. Time to gear up bright and early for the First Annual Charity Golf Scramble for the Family Enrichment Center. This time I took a full dose of Ambien before I went to sleep. Again, I sleep until 3am and then it was tossing, turning, and stretching the rest of the night and maybe some sleep here and there. I was up and adam at 7 am. THIS IS SO WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS!!! I have come to the conclusion that this medication is not working. I thought Ambien was supposed to help you get a full night's rest?
Anyway, I arrive for the golf scramble. Perfect weather. Everyone was so nice! I even got a compliementary massage which I needed so very badly. With the anxiety comes muscle tension and this massage helped out tremendously! Thank you Family Enrichment Center!!!! We had a nice turnout. We had 9 teams and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I got to take pics with each of the teams at the first hole and chat it up with board members. The weather couldn't have been more perfect. Later on Jay Kidwell from Channel 4 Sports shows up. A really nice guy! He did the 18th hole challenge with a golfer from each of the teams as they came in. When it was time to announce winners and raffles Kevin Kullums, the director gave more insight on what the money was going towards. They are in the process of building a building that will be for education and daycare services and afterschool programs so that the children in this at-risk community will have a safe place to go with a positive enviornment. It feels good knowing that I was a part of helping to raise money for that. They plan on breaking ground this fall. I just may be in attendance for that ceremony!
Next Kevin introduced me and I talked about how I got to the quad cities and how I have been trying to get out in the community to help promote my platforms. I feel better and better each time I tell my story. Jay Kidwell came over and congratulated me and gave me some words of encouragement about my work in the community and wished me the best for nationals. It really made my day that reputable people in the community are supporting me in the things that I do. He told me about a benefit dinner for NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Health) that will take place in October and said he was sure they would love to have me. I love how when I do appearances that they turn into bookings for more appearances!
Well Monica, get ready for busy, busy projects ahead!!! It just keeps getting better and it's all for a good cause! I love it! So thank you Kevin, Thank you Kathy, thank you Jay and all of the board of Family Enrichment Center for having me for your event. If there is ever anything else I can help with just let me know!!! It was an honor!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Isolation
"Isolation is your comfort zone but sometimes you have to move outside of your comfort zone to be happy too."
Someone gave me this advice today and I already knew this, but had not actually heard anyone say it or confirm with myself out loud. I thought about this after I had a talk with my mental health doc yesterday when she was asking me some questions and asked if I have isolated myself. I have to be honest, I have. It's what I do best. It's where I am comfortable because I can get away and go about life in "my world" with nobody to disturb me as I dig deep to figure out things.
Prime example of that quote.... I came here to the Quad Cities to get away and start new because I had been so engulfed in my depression. I knew the best thing for me was isolation whether it was to move or possibly be checked in somewhere. When I isolate myself, I don't have to worry about the who, what, where, when, why. If people want to be negative and not even try to understand, it is just better for me to remove myself from negative situations. People may think that isolation is a bad thing or that it would only make things worse. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it is for the better. For me, it got worse before it got better and I am happy now. Even the people that tried, and I say TRIED to break me when I was still pretty new here didn't. I went on about my business and do the things I already knew how to do best and I removed the negativity in my life. When you surround yourself with people who are full of drama, negativity, and always want to have their nose where it shouldn't belong and tend to want to gossip all the time, you do really breathe easier and your life is so much better. Don't take isolation as a sign of weakness, it is merely just a way of putting yourself in a positive light. In my world, I can sit back and watch and learn. I have learned a lot and have become even stronger.
When I come out into the world, I tend to make it a positive day every day. I enjoy getting out in my community and stepping outside of this "isolation" at times. It gives me a chance to show the world what I have been working on and where I am going with my positive perspective. When people see me out, they always make comments that it is good to see me out or it was nice talking to ya. I enjoy that. Tonight when I step out on the field and out in the community I want people to remember me as being a positive person out in the community that has no other motive than to make a difference without the drama and negativity surrounding it.
So yes, Isolation has become my comfort zone and I am happy there, but I am also truly happy when I share my knowledge and talents with the rest of the world when I come out. :)
Someone gave me this advice today and I already knew this, but had not actually heard anyone say it or confirm with myself out loud. I thought about this after I had a talk with my mental health doc yesterday when she was asking me some questions and asked if I have isolated myself. I have to be honest, I have. It's what I do best. It's where I am comfortable because I can get away and go about life in "my world" with nobody to disturb me as I dig deep to figure out things.
Prime example of that quote.... I came here to the Quad Cities to get away and start new because I had been so engulfed in my depression. I knew the best thing for me was isolation whether it was to move or possibly be checked in somewhere. When I isolate myself, I don't have to worry about the who, what, where, when, why. If people want to be negative and not even try to understand, it is just better for me to remove myself from negative situations. People may think that isolation is a bad thing or that it would only make things worse. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it is for the better. For me, it got worse before it got better and I am happy now. Even the people that tried, and I say TRIED to break me when I was still pretty new here didn't. I went on about my business and do the things I already knew how to do best and I removed the negativity in my life. When you surround yourself with people who are full of drama, negativity, and always want to have their nose where it shouldn't belong and tend to want to gossip all the time, you do really breathe easier and your life is so much better. Don't take isolation as a sign of weakness, it is merely just a way of putting yourself in a positive light. In my world, I can sit back and watch and learn. I have learned a lot and have become even stronger.
When I come out into the world, I tend to make it a positive day every day. I enjoy getting out in my community and stepping outside of this "isolation" at times. It gives me a chance to show the world what I have been working on and where I am going with my positive perspective. When people see me out, they always make comments that it is good to see me out or it was nice talking to ya. I enjoy that. Tonight when I step out on the field and out in the community I want people to remember me as being a positive person out in the community that has no other motive than to make a difference without the drama and negativity surrounding it.
So yes, Isolation has become my comfort zone and I am happy there, but I am also truly happy when I share my knowledge and talents with the rest of the world when I come out. :)
Friday, August 26, 2011
A New Direction
Today started off great with a new plan for my mental health future. I have been pushing the community to break the mental health stigma, to start talking about mental health, share their experiences, and to be aware of mental health around them. Sometimes I forget that while I am my platform, I must also take care of me too. One thing that I tell anyone, make sure you take care of you and that you are well.
Today was my first appointment with an ARNP at the Vera French Community Mental Health Center. Going in you feel welcome and I like that. I was a lil annoyed by a boy in the waiting area that just had to keep moving and talking and was just into everything and he was every bit of 9 or 10 years old! But I sat back and realized that there are many forms of mental health and he too was a patient. He just couldn't help it. I couldn't help but think I hope the best for him and his family and by the look on his dad's face and his tone towards him, you could tell that he was irritated himself.
The good thing about today was that I got to vent about what had been going on with my mental health in the past couple of years without having been under the physical care of a mental health professional. In order to be treated and cared for to get more results, you must be completely open and honest about your feelings, thoughts, moods, habits, etc. if you are to get the proper care and get the most out of mental health services you are paying for. You can't be helped if you are not open. I told my doc that I was not happy with the medications that I was on and I felt that I was tired and gaining weight with no motivation to do the most that I am capable of. Trazodone apparently has this effect on some and so we came up with a new course of action that I could feel good about. Cymbalta would be upped more and we would switch out the trazodone for Ambien.
Making a change in medications can make you nervous and excited at the same time. For me, I am nervous because I am thinking I don't need any mood swings, lol I am still a queen and I have stuff to accomplish!! You almost never know what is going to happen when meds are switched/changed. But since we are only going up 30 more miligrams I should be okay for the better in the transition stage. I am excited because I am thinking now maybe I will feel good and have that extra push to get some things done that I have been pushing off. Ambien will be new for me. It may sound silly, but I can't wait to see how I will feel when I wake up. I was getting a lot of groggyness with the trazodone and was sleeping much later than any "normal" person should.
What I was really thankful for and surprised about, was the fact that there was a 24-hour emergency number for a psych doctor on call. I did not have that before. I hope I never have to use that, but it least I know that I do have the option. There had been a few occasions, more than I would like to admit, especially when I first moved here, that I needed someone to call and didn't have the option. Now that I have been reassured that I would not run out of medication and there is always someone to reach I feel a calm that I have not felt before. One less thing to worry about. That being my mental health situation.
If you ever feel like you don't know where to turn or where to start and you live in the Quad Cities area, know that Vera French is an option. It is a community based service so there is no need to worry about inability to afford mental health services. Everything is confidential and there is always someone who can be reached. They see people for all types of mental health, including ADHD, depression, anxiety, and even more severe forms.
I come here knowing that this is a good place. I am happy that I am working with the MJL Foundation for this year's "Walk for Hope" which will help fund their school-based services in Scott County.
Today was my first appointment with an ARNP at the Vera French Community Mental Health Center. Going in you feel welcome and I like that. I was a lil annoyed by a boy in the waiting area that just had to keep moving and talking and was just into everything and he was every bit of 9 or 10 years old! But I sat back and realized that there are many forms of mental health and he too was a patient. He just couldn't help it. I couldn't help but think I hope the best for him and his family and by the look on his dad's face and his tone towards him, you could tell that he was irritated himself.
The good thing about today was that I got to vent about what had been going on with my mental health in the past couple of years without having been under the physical care of a mental health professional. In order to be treated and cared for to get more results, you must be completely open and honest about your feelings, thoughts, moods, habits, etc. if you are to get the proper care and get the most out of mental health services you are paying for. You can't be helped if you are not open. I told my doc that I was not happy with the medications that I was on and I felt that I was tired and gaining weight with no motivation to do the most that I am capable of. Trazodone apparently has this effect on some and so we came up with a new course of action that I could feel good about. Cymbalta would be upped more and we would switch out the trazodone for Ambien.
Making a change in medications can make you nervous and excited at the same time. For me, I am nervous because I am thinking I don't need any mood swings, lol I am still a queen and I have stuff to accomplish!! You almost never know what is going to happen when meds are switched/changed. But since we are only going up 30 more miligrams I should be okay for the better in the transition stage. I am excited because I am thinking now maybe I will feel good and have that extra push to get some things done that I have been pushing off. Ambien will be new for me. It may sound silly, but I can't wait to see how I will feel when I wake up. I was getting a lot of groggyness with the trazodone and was sleeping much later than any "normal" person should.
What I was really thankful for and surprised about, was the fact that there was a 24-hour emergency number for a psych doctor on call. I did not have that before. I hope I never have to use that, but it least I know that I do have the option. There had been a few occasions, more than I would like to admit, especially when I first moved here, that I needed someone to call and didn't have the option. Now that I have been reassured that I would not run out of medication and there is always someone to reach I feel a calm that I have not felt before. One less thing to worry about. That being my mental health situation.
If you ever feel like you don't know where to turn or where to start and you live in the Quad Cities area, know that Vera French is an option. It is a community based service so there is no need to worry about inability to afford mental health services. Everything is confidential and there is always someone who can be reached. They see people for all types of mental health, including ADHD, depression, anxiety, and even more severe forms.
I come here knowing that this is a good place. I am happy that I am working with the MJL Foundation for this year's "Walk for Hope" which will help fund their school-based services in Scott County.
Monday, August 15, 2011
A cure for Leukemia???
I couldn't believe it myself. No, there is not a definite cure for all forms of Leukemia, but it is definite hope for a start on curing the common one found in adults who are diagnosed. Too many times we say "one day there will be a cure" and I am going to be honest... I never thought that "one day" would ever come close or EVER happen. In fact, it hasn't really happened, but I do have a new hope. I am looking forward to the next updates in this developing study. I want this so bad for all those out there who are suffering from this disease, the families who are touched by loved ones with this disease, and the ones who have been diagnosed and have been told they have only a certain time period to live. I do wish deep down this would have happened sooner and the funds would have been there for more people to experience this study so that my daddy may have had a chance to receive this, but, it does not always happen like that. I heart is full of joy for this hope. This is the biggest breakthrough in this research in decades!
What is even more joyful to me is that the chapter for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that I work with here in Iowa helps fund this Dr. Carl June. The money that I raise will go to this doctor which means that we are one of those steps in helping him to work diligently to research and study for this cure. I don't know about any one else out there who has been touched by someone with Leukemia or has it themselves, but I plan on contacting this doctor personally with a card to let him know that his work is tremendous and to keep on striving because the world is behind him! Sometimes no matter how great something is there is always a lot of stress and sometimes you just need a little word of encouragement to make it all worth while. Maybe my card will get lost, maybe it will go through the millions of other pieces of mail and not make it to his desk for personal reading, or just maybe... it will make his day and he will smile to know that someone out there is wishing him well on his journey and took time out of their day to do so.
So on behalf myself and all chapters across the U.S. for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, Dr. June, we appreciate you and all of your work!!
If you have not had the chance to hear the news or read the article, please feel free to read from the link below...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44090512/ns/health-cancer/t/new-leukemia-treatment-exceeds-wildest-expectations/
What is even more joyful to me is that the chapter for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that I work with here in Iowa helps fund this Dr. Carl June. The money that I raise will go to this doctor which means that we are one of those steps in helping him to work diligently to research and study for this cure. I don't know about any one else out there who has been touched by someone with Leukemia or has it themselves, but I plan on contacting this doctor personally with a card to let him know that his work is tremendous and to keep on striving because the world is behind him! Sometimes no matter how great something is there is always a lot of stress and sometimes you just need a little word of encouragement to make it all worth while. Maybe my card will get lost, maybe it will go through the millions of other pieces of mail and not make it to his desk for personal reading, or just maybe... it will make his day and he will smile to know that someone out there is wishing him well on his journey and took time out of their day to do so.
So on behalf myself and all chapters across the U.S. for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, Dr. June, we appreciate you and all of your work!!
If you have not had the chance to hear the news or read the article, please feel free to read from the link below...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44090512/ns/health-cancer/t/new-leukemia-treatment-exceeds-wildest-expectations/
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Bucket List
At the beginning of this year I told myself that my life needed to be different. I had goals and things I wanted to do but never really worked towards them all. I really felt like I was just going through the motions in life and not really doing anything. Sure, I went to school, graduated, held a few titles, worked in the community through my platforms, had my dogs, a boyfriend, had a joh in my career, but I still felt like something was missing. For some people they think it is the point where they start a family and move on in life. For me, there is just so much I want to do before I start a family and settle down. I feel like I have not been too many places or experienced enough of the "good life" to be able to say okay, I am ready. I encourage anyone to sit down and think about the things they really want to experience and do in life. For me, life has just begun!! I am going to share a few of the items that I have on my bucket list.
1. Visit Augsburg, Germany.-My parents were in the military and this is where I was born. Many people have a sense of what it feels like to be able to visit or be in the place where they were born. I don't know what that feels like and I think it would be interesting to visit another country overseas. I don't want to go by myself though, I would love for me and my mom to go and visit together. She could be my tour guide and tell me stories about different places and things that happened while we were there or when she was in the military.
2. Win a national title- I have held a few state titles and have had the chance to compete for a national title on it least 3 occasions, but I want to actually be able to win a national title. My platforms right now are mental health awareness and Leukemia and Lymphoma Awareness. I would very much like to use a national title to do more with these platforms to raise money and awareness and be able to travel the U.S. promoting these. Just once I want to know what it is like to be crowned on a national stage before a large audience. I have never wanted anything more I feel like. I just want to be heard and prove that out of any situation or lemons that life throws out you, that you can go on to do great things and for me the greatest thing would be a national title. (I plan to retire after the Ms. American Coed Pageant so I hope this is my year)
3. Go to an NFL game. I love to watch football. I am more of a college sports gal but I have already experienced being at a UK football game and there is nothing like the excitement of UK fans during season. So I would like to take it to a bigger scale and go to an NFL game. Not sure who I would like to see yet, as I don't have a specific team that is my number one. Maybe Cowboys or Steelers? Afterall, my mom's family is from PA. Or maybe a Packers game, they are pretty close to me right now, well not super close but close enough. We shall see
4. Go to L.A. and experience Hollywood Blvd. I have never been to California and I would very much like to sight see and maybe experience the night life in L.A. I always see Hollywood on T.V. and well, I just want to go there. Take pictures of some stars on the blvd. I do have some favorite actors and things I would like to take pics fo their stars. Maybe even meet a few celebs. Who knows!!
5. Go to Hawaii. It is so beautiful there! I want to see the islands, have pina coladas on the beach, and be leid as I get off the airplane. That would be awesome to be able to do a photoshoot there. I have never been to an island resort. Maybe one day when I get married I can go here for a honey moon spot. This is definitely a place I would like to experience.
6. Meet President Barak Obama. I don't know about you, but I was quite emotionally drawn to the television when I got to experience history of the first black president. His personality seems down to earth and he seems like a great person to meet. Meeting the first black president and taking a photo would be something I would love to do. A little piece of history for myself. Maybe he is not well liked or people don't think he is doing a good job in office but I love the fact that he has opened the eyes of many who thought it would never happen and given hope to those who think they can't.
Those are just a few things on my bucket list. There are many places I would like to visit and people I want to see. Maybe I will be able to blog one day about my experience of completing some of these items. What is on your bucket list???
1. Visit Augsburg, Germany.-My parents were in the military and this is where I was born. Many people have a sense of what it feels like to be able to visit or be in the place where they were born. I don't know what that feels like and I think it would be interesting to visit another country overseas. I don't want to go by myself though, I would love for me and my mom to go and visit together. She could be my tour guide and tell me stories about different places and things that happened while we were there or when she was in the military.
2. Win a national title- I have held a few state titles and have had the chance to compete for a national title on it least 3 occasions, but I want to actually be able to win a national title. My platforms right now are mental health awareness and Leukemia and Lymphoma Awareness. I would very much like to use a national title to do more with these platforms to raise money and awareness and be able to travel the U.S. promoting these. Just once I want to know what it is like to be crowned on a national stage before a large audience. I have never wanted anything more I feel like. I just want to be heard and prove that out of any situation or lemons that life throws out you, that you can go on to do great things and for me the greatest thing would be a national title. (I plan to retire after the Ms. American Coed Pageant so I hope this is my year)
3. Go to an NFL game. I love to watch football. I am more of a college sports gal but I have already experienced being at a UK football game and there is nothing like the excitement of UK fans during season. So I would like to take it to a bigger scale and go to an NFL game. Not sure who I would like to see yet, as I don't have a specific team that is my number one. Maybe Cowboys or Steelers? Afterall, my mom's family is from PA. Or maybe a Packers game, they are pretty close to me right now, well not super close but close enough. We shall see
4. Go to L.A. and experience Hollywood Blvd. I have never been to California and I would very much like to sight see and maybe experience the night life in L.A. I always see Hollywood on T.V. and well, I just want to go there. Take pictures of some stars on the blvd. I do have some favorite actors and things I would like to take pics fo their stars. Maybe even meet a few celebs. Who knows!!
5. Go to Hawaii. It is so beautiful there! I want to see the islands, have pina coladas on the beach, and be leid as I get off the airplane. That would be awesome to be able to do a photoshoot there. I have never been to an island resort. Maybe one day when I get married I can go here for a honey moon spot. This is definitely a place I would like to experience.
6. Meet President Barak Obama. I don't know about you, but I was quite emotionally drawn to the television when I got to experience history of the first black president. His personality seems down to earth and he seems like a great person to meet. Meeting the first black president and taking a photo would be something I would love to do. A little piece of history for myself. Maybe he is not well liked or people don't think he is doing a good job in office but I love the fact that he has opened the eyes of many who thought it would never happen and given hope to those who think they can't.
Those are just a few things on my bucket list. There are many places I would like to visit and people I want to see. Maybe I will be able to blog one day about my experience of completing some of these items. What is on your bucket list???
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