My Reflection

2011 has just about come to a close.  I look back at the year and think about everything.  All in all, 2011 was a good year.  I could not have asked for anything more.  Accepting the title as Ms. Iowa 2011 brought so much opportunity.  I reached out to a lot of people who were in need and it felt good to be a lending ear for their stories.  Getting out in the community helped me realize that no matter where I am people are drawn to my positivity and I appreciate that.  I came to Iowa, country and all, and the community has accepted me with open arms, lol!  I have been here two years now so I guess I am considered a keeper and an official quad citian even though I don't talk like one.

I have had so many experiences this year from speaking at small class room settings, walking with the mayor of Davenport at the mental health NAMI walk, being the first to walk out in the Live Out Loud Charity Fashion Show before many people in the pageant and modeling industry in Chicago, to sharing my story before hundreds of people in Des Moines about losing my dad to Leukemia.  I did a lot of traveling and a lot of learning and slept when I could on top of working a full time job.  I have to give myself credit and a pat on the back.  I think one of my most favorite things was riding in the Festival of Trees parade with the MJL Foundation for Depression and Suicide Awareness.  The whole community was there and there were people I knew and didn't know who waved back.  I remember the first time I heard someone yell Ms. Iowa at my first pitch for the River Bandits.  A child, a lil girl who said she wanted to be just like me.  It's those moments that warm your heart.

Although my health isn't at its best I am still here.  I survived American Coed Pageant nationals and I had fun!  It's been a wild ride!  Now on to bigger and even better things.  My life is only going to get better and I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store!!! If it is anything like 2011 I can only be even more excited.  MJL Foundation, NAMI, Live Out Loud Charity, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Iowa, I WILL be seeing you next year!!!!!! Ms. Iowa 2011, I will always be me with or without a title.  My platforms and my passions make me who I am and that will NEVER change. :)

Where has the time gone???

Nationals came and went.  No I didn't win, but there is a reason for everything.  I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish, and that was to retire from competing.  When I say retire, I mean retire from major state titles that have major duties and nationals to prepare for.  I think my body has had enough and I been in the pageant game for like 15 years.  Once I give up my crown in March I will be "hanging up" the crown.  Remember "I will retire with the crown, yes.  No, I am not lucky I am blessed. Yes."-Nicki Minaj  And that I did.

I come to realize that since going through all of this stuff with my health, it probably would not have been a good idea to travel the country with a national title.  I get so tired easily now.  Heck, it took me all day Sunday to put up my tree and I had to keep laying down and taking naps here and there.  The good news, no colon cancer.  So with respect to that, my prayers have been answered on that.  They are still unsure of what is causing all of these digestive problems, but hopefully the medicine works and they won't have to do anything else.  I go back for a follow-up mid next month.  Thank God for my best friend Noemi.  "Miss Nurse to be"  She made sure I was cool, got me to my colonoscopy and back, and we ate good on Sunday.  I couldn't eat as much as I used to, but it was good to have some home-cooked food and not some hospital crap or liquid diet.

So what's next?  Little by little I will get these pictures up from nationals.  The Christmas Festival of Trees Parade.  I am taking a lil time out I guess you could say.  But my haters out there, don't think that I have not been having things in the works.  I may have had to sit down due to health issues but I always have something in the making and I never needed anyone to get anything done or be friends/suck up to people to get what I wanted.  Everything I have worked hard for and people actually do like me for me and not because I am doing them any favors.  I have built a lot of connections through the industry and my causes.  My causes are going to continue beyond Ms. Iowa.  I am my platforms.  This coming year I will strive to raise a lot of money for Leukemia and Mental Health.  I will be starting my own national campaign for mental health awareness.  That's only a tease of what I have up my sleeve.

I can't wait for 2012!!! Where did the rest of 2011 go by the way?  Oh, I guess I was just so busy and sick that it just slid right past me.  Being busy made me sick and being sick made me busy, LOL.  But I will not let any of this hold me down.  It's almost time to start planning for the BIG 3-0!!! I can't believe I am going to be 30 in May.  I am going all out and going to enjoy it.  For once I am going to do what I want to do.  Not what someone else had planned or how they think it should go.  I think I worked hard enough this year that I deserve it least that.

I am thankful to make it as far as I have.  2011 has blessed me in more ways than I can count.  A lot of good things happened this year.  Besides my health, I can't really complain.  Lost a couple of family members but they did live good long lives and nobody lives forever.  For those of you that struggle this time of year, my heart goes out to you.  It will get better.  Every move I make from now on is a step closer and closer to my dreams.  I don't plan on looking back and nothing will keep me from moving forward. 2012 is definitely going to be a good year too! I can't wait!